Because He Stuck His Head out of the Window of a Moving Train

....I became a limo driver and a helicopter stunt pilot. Go figure.

From: Klean Micheal [mailto: klean.micheal@yahoo.ca]
Sent: Friday, March 05, 2010 12:20 PM
To: klean.micheal@yahoo.ca
Subject: Hello Dear,

On 3-5-10, Amina Ali wrote:
Hello Dear,

Please my dear, do not feel embarrassed by my mail to you.

I am Mrs. AminA Ali, the wife of late Dr. Ibrahim Ali, a prominent business man and pro-human right defender /member of the movement for national freedom before his death here in Philippine .

During my late husband's lifetime, he deposited the total sum of $12.5 million dollars in a security company abroad- Cote D'Ivoire ( Ivory Coast) for the up keeping/ future of our children namely Mustafa and sarah Ali and informed me concerning this fund which he put and secured in a metallic box in a security and finance company abroad.

This deposit was coded under a secret arrangement as a family treasure. This means that the security company does not even know the content of this trunk box. I am contacting you because I want you to help me in securing this money in the box for the future and education of my children because I can not be able to do so due to my deteriorating bad health situation.

I will make available to you 15% of the total money for your efforts in securing the box. I shall be expecting your reply- mail so that i will give you the contact of this security company and all the security information and documents to enable them release this box to you without difficulty or delay, please get back to me at: (amina.baby37@yahoo.ca )

Best regards
Mrs. Amina Ali.

On 3-5-10, Vladdio wrote:
Dear Mrs. Amina Ali,

You contacted me at exactly the right time.

How can I help you?

Byp Staccato
Vladdio Pasta, Inc.

On 3-5-10, Amina Ali wrote:
From: Amina Baby [mailto:amina.baby37@yahoo.ca]
Subject: THANK FOR YOUR HELP

Dearest Beloved vladdio pasta,
Thanks so much for receipt of your acknowledged mail received,Iam very gratefull as regards to your interest and willingness to assist me in this transaction My Heaven Father will surely Bless you Mightly without measure.

However i appreciate your word and i contacted you as i earlier inform you in my format mail i sent to you,So i want you to stand for me as my Late Husband foreign business associate as he stated in the agreement he made with the security finance company where he deposited this matallic trunk box as family valuables,My late husband stated as follows,That his foreign associate will come over to this country Cote D'Ivoire Abidjan Economic capital city of this country to claim this trunk box meant for onward business transaction over sea.

Note i want you to bring up your whole hearted mind to assist me to retrive this trunk box from the security finance company and invest the money to a viable business of your choice in your country and help us to secure papers to come over to your country to enable my children have Good education and Good environmental atmosepher in your country,Please remember that i have explained to you about my health condition,Iam sick of Leukamia cancer,Beside iam not business inclined and my children is not of age and this is the only livelihood i inherited from my Late Husband hence it the only future hope of my children.

Moreso remember that the security company does not know the content of this matallic trunk box as money,Note it was deposited as Family valuables to avoid inspection and comfiscate of the box,i have resorted to offer you 15% Of the Total Value and set aside 5% for any incuring expenses you may incure during the period of this transaction,Meanwhile i have repose all confidence in you believing that you will not betray the confidence i repose on you when you secure this trunk box from the security company.I will give you the Deposit certificate Number and the security certificate Number that was issued to my late husband for proof of ownership of this trunk box as well the data information of the security company in my next mail as soon as i receive your mail.It will be required of you to send me your details information to enable me to submit it to the security company making you Legal beneficiary of this trunk box.

Below are the required information,

1) YOUR FULL NAME.
2) YOUR COMPLETE ADDRESS.
3) YOUR STATE OF ORIGINE.
4) YOUR MARITAL STATUS.
5) YOUR OCCUPATION.
6) YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER.

Note,as soon as i receive this information i will give you all other relevant information that will empower you to claim this trunk box from the security company when i shall be very please to supply further information you may desire.

Thanks.
Yours sincerely.
Mrs Amina ALI.

On 3-5-10, Vladdio wrote:
Dear Amina,

Please excuse me for the correction I am about to make, but my name is NOT Vladdio Pasta. It's Byp Staccato.

Vladdio Pasta is the company I work for. Perhaps you've eaten some of our products? Or perhaps you've seen our commercials on TV? Maybe you've heard our radio commercial? We have a cute little infectious song - a jingo really - that most people remember because of the lyrics. It goes like this:

Goober died a coward's death. Will you? Will you?
He burned and screamed; he bled. With poison on his rotten breath. Will you? Will you?
A kitten chokes on Pasta Balls; a monkey slits its throat.
Don't eat the worms, cried Admiral Hank.
They're in the pocket of my coat.
If the Pasta isn't tender, dear, I'll call my cousin Frank.
It's VLADDIO! It's VLADDIO!
Hubba-hubba. You, you, you, you............

That's only the first verse. You probably know the rest anyway. It's very popular.

So you want me to act as your dead husband's business associate. Not a problem. But I'm guessing I'm going to have to pay my own way over to the Ivory Coast. I don't see a problem with that either since I'll be getting 15% of $12,500,000.00. By my calculations, that means I'll be getting close to 6 MILLION DOLLARS. I can handle that. We can talk later about what kind of charities you want me to give this money to. There's no rush.

Here's the info you asked for:

1) YOUR FULL NAME. Byp Drambuie Staccato
2) YOUR COMPLETE ADDRESS. 4565 Noodles Way
2a) MY CITY. Provolone
3) YOUR STATE OF ORIGINE. Vermont
3a) MY ZIP CODE. 08405
4) YOUR MARITAL STATUS. First I was single. Then divorced 4 times. Widowered 2 times. Married now.
5) YOUR OCCUPATION. Limo Driver for Mr. Vladdio at Vladdio Pasta, Inc.
6) YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER. Don't have one. I use the internet for everything including phone calls.

Byp Staccato
Vladdio Pasta, Inc.

On 3-7-10, Amina Ali wrote:
Subject: PLS DO AS THEY INSTRUCT
hello.Byp Staccato

This are the information required

1,Deposit certificate Number A3271258A

2, security certificate Number 90004b egib security company

Provide them with this infromation .i have infromed them and they side you should Contact them on their above email address which is info_egibsecurity@mail2Coastguard.com and i have submited
all information you send to me.to them

That you are my late husband business associat whom i have entrusted this metallic box to. this will enpower you to have ascess to this metallic box .i wish you the best of all GOD will surelly see you true

Thanks.
Yours sincerely.
Mrs Amina ALI.

On 3-7-10, Vladdio wrote:
Dear Amina,

Thank you for calling me by my name.

I will copy you the email I send to them.

Byp

On 3-7-10, Vladdio wrote to the “security company”:
Dear Sir or Madam or Both,

My name is Byp Staccato. I am a foreign business associate of the late Dr. Ibrahim Ali, who was - as you may know - a prominent businessman, a pro-human right defender, a male model, and a horse whisperer. The untimely death of Dr. Ali has come as a shock to everyone, including - but not limited to - his wife Amina "Baby" Ali, his daughter Mustafa, and his son Sarah. I believe there is a lesson to be learned here, and I believe that Dr. Ali would agree that if more people understood the dangers of sticking ones head out of a fast moving train, less people would die. My friend and partner, "Ibby" (as he liked to be called) gave his life as a caution for the possibility of future senseless decapitations. Let us all bow our heads - while we still have them - and say a silent prayer for the end of these tragedies.

I am placing this claim in order to receive access to a metal box on deposit at your facility.

Please note: THIS METAL BOX DOES NOT CONTAIN MONEY IN THE AMOUNT OF $12.5 MILLION DOLLARS. The only thing in this box is pornography and a collection of bow-ties.

The Deposit Certificate Number is A3271258A

and the Security Certificate Number is 90004b egib.

Also, Dr. Ali would have wanted everyone at your bank to eat Vladdio Pasta. Since 1924 Vladdio Pasta has made pasta the way mama used to make it. Vladdio! Your kids will love it!

Thank you,

Byp Staccato

On 3-8-10, the “security company” wrote:
From: egib security [mailto: info_egibsecurity@mail2Coastguard.com]
Subject: Re: Claims!
EGIB-SECURITY COMPANY ( IMPORT-EXPORT) FINANCE COMPANY
11 AV.JOSEPH ANOMA, 01 BP 4132 ABJ 01
TEL: +2256632.7720
FAX: +22566854115
CONTACT PERSON: Dr. Clifford Ahmed (Ph.d ) / ( Dir. Int´l )
Email: info_egibsecurity@mail2Coastguard.com

Sir,
This Honourable security company hereby acknowledges the receipt of your mail
How ever we will like you to reconfrim your following address to make
A propal arrangment.
1.YOUR COMPLETE ADDRESS...................
2.YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER.........................
3.YOUR OCCUPATION.................................................
4.YOUR STATE COUNTRY.....................................................
5.YOUR NATIONAL ID ..................................................................................
This will give us more backups
Thanks From
Dr. Clifford Ahmed

On 3-8-10, Vladdio wrote:
Subject: I need some advice from YOU, Amina!

Dear Amina,

I just received the following email from the Finance Company today.

I don't know what kind of doctor this Clifford Ahmed is but I suspect he must have gotten his degree from a child's magazine. His speling is atroscious. And what's a "backup"?

Before I answer his stupid questions I wanted to show them to you. Is there anything I need to know? For example, my real occupation is "limo driver" but I already said in my last email to him that I was your dead husband's business associate. Unless your husband was also a "limo driver", that answer won't come across as believable. I could say that I am an investment banker and that I drive limo both as a hobby and as therapy for some anger management classes that I was forced to take. Would that be OK?

Hurry back with your answer, dear Amina Baby. I want to get the money as soon as possible. I already know what casino I think we should invest your money in.

Thank you,

Byp Staccato

On 3-10-10, Vladdio wrote to the “security company”:
Dear Dr. Clifford Ahmed,

I was waiting for some guidance on how to answer the questions you sent me but apparently I was waiting in vain.

I will now endeavor to do this solo.

To your questions:

1.YOUR COMPLETE ADDRESS.........................4565 Noodles Way, Provolone, Vermont 08405
2.YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER......................... I don't have one. I use the internet exclusively
3.YOUR OCCUPATION.......................................... I am a helicopter stunt pilot, just like my good friend and business associate, Ibby Ali.
4.YOUR STATE COUNTRY..................................... My state is Vermont and my country is the U. S. A. Therefore my STATE COUNTRY is Vermontusa.
5.YOUR NATIONAL ID ............................................ Yes
I believe that I have answered all of your questions truthfully and to the best of my ability and recollection. God may strike me down if any of these answers are wrong.
Thank you,

Byp Staccato
Helicopter Stunt Pilot

PS. Eat Vladdio Pasta! It's Gooooooooood!

On 3-10-10, Amina Ali wrote:
Subject: OK
dear Vladdio
pls am with you asyou know am still in the hospitalpraying GOD for
my survival
thnaks
mrs amina

On 3-10-10, Vladdio wrote:
Hang in there Amina Baby!

I have a feeling this Dr. Ahmed character will be contacting me pretty soon. It would suck if you died before he got back to me. I mean, what would happen to the money?

And I know I shouldn't mind being called "Vladdio" by you, especially since you're so sick. Maybe you're even having convulsions and hallucinations. But stupid mistakes about my name just piss me off, no matter what the health of the person calling me Vladdio. And you're not the first, either.

So do me a favor, get well soon. And stop being so stupid calling me Vladdio. It's "Byp" BYP! Like in the book, "Byp and the Floozy from Florence" and "Byp: The Man and the Myth".

Byp Staccato

On 3-10-10, the “security company” wrote:
Subject: YOUR URGENT RESPONS
EGIB-SECURITY COMPANY ( IMPORT-EXPORT) FINANCE COMPANY
11 AV.JOSEPH ANOMA, 01 BP 4132 ABJ 01
TEL: +2256632.7720
FAX: +22566854115
CONTACT PERSON: Dr. Clifford Ahmed (Ph.d ) / ( Dir. Int´l )
Email: info_egibsecurity@mail2Coastguard.com


Sir,
This Honourable security company hereby acknowledges the receipt of your mail and the accompanying information send to us by mrs amina ali

And wish to inform you that after due and successful verification with your information as submitted to us,you are hereby required to visit our office within 7 days of your receiving this mail commencing from today, the 10rd day of febu, 2010 to apply and procure from the High Court of Justice (here) the relevant documentations namely (a.) an affidavit of change of ownership and (b.) Court Mandamus to enable this company to relise this metallic box as instructed.
In the alternative, that is, if you will NOT be able to come down here (to this country) within the stipulated time frame, then be advised to solicit the services of one of the independent Lawyers/Attorneys attached/affiliated to our company who will assist you go to the said High Court here on your behalf and procure the relevant documents.barrister micheal okonkwo

Please take NOTE that the metallic box we seek to send to you can neither be dealt with, withdrawn nor acted upon in any form whatsoever until the relevant documents are obtained from the above said court ( either by you or your accredited attorney/lawyer acting on your behalf).
Thank for your
Anticipetion
Dr. Clifford Ahmed

On 3-10-10, Vladdio wrote:
Subject: FW: OK
Dear Amina,

HE FELL FOR IT!! I can hardly believe it!

I included Dr. Ahmed's email in this one so you can see.

So what do I have to do next? Should I book a flight to.... where is it anyway? Where is the "metallic box"? Is it in the Ivory Coast or is it in the Philippines? I haven't been to either one.

This is so exciting! $6 million dollars!

Please stay alive dear Amina Baby. Don't die on me, lady. Not yet.

What do I do next?

Byp

On 3-14-10, Vladdio wrote:
Dear Amina,

Are you alright? I haven't heard from you in 4 days, and I'm concerned that you might have died before arranging to get the money to me. In fact I went to church today. I prayed that God would delay your certain demise just long enough for me to get that money.

Please tell me you're still alive!

I'm worried.

Byp

PS. What are you going to do with your personal belongings when you die? Is there anything of value among them? Could you supply me with a detailed inventory? Thanks.

On 3-16-10, I got this very weird reply:
hello nigga
whats up my name is klean their is know need tellin ourselfs lie
i want to be your friend so we can work to gether to make so money
i want you to saerch for some good email contact and send to me

thanks mr
klean