You'll Never Lose Money By Rounding Up

...unless you're the customer.

From: Lewis Taylor
Sent: Thursday, December 03, 2009 2:07 PM
Subject: fence
Hello my name is lewis and i will like to know if you pool fence for sale.

On 12-4-09, Vladdio wrote:
Yes.

On 12-4-09, Lewis Taylor wrote:
Thank you very much for the reply,i will like to know the types you have and the cost for

On 12-5-09, Vladdio wrote:
Dear Lewis,

The fence I carry is manufactured by The Jumbo Bumble Bee Scurvy Leg Fence Company or JBBSLFC.

JBBSLFC makes many variations of fence: 82 different colors, 13 different heights and ratings from "G" (General Audiences) to "XXX" (3 minutes of flinching).

However our most popular fence is the "Ride 'em, Cowboy!" This has Red and White Vertical Stripes at 62" height with pole caps representative of Rodeo Superstars of Yesteryear. It comes in 20' lengths.

You will need 15 sections of the "Ride 'em, Cowboy!” At $355 per section, your cost is $7,100.00.

You will also need the "Whoa, Nellie!" Gate. (This has the image of a boa constrictor woven into the screen). No one buys the "Ride 'em, Cowboy!" without the "Whoa, Nellie!” This gate costs $520.

Your total price for this order is $7,620.00.

How would you be paying for this?

McCoy MacTush McFadden
(You can call me "Buster". Nobody calls me "Mac")

On 12-5-09, Lewis Taylor wrote:
Thank you very much for the assitance and and i will like to make my payment with credit card if that is okay with u.

On 12-5-09, Vladdio wrote:
Dear Lewis,

Yes you can use your credit card.

Please confirm that you do wish to order the specific fence and gate described below. YOU MUST WRITE THE NAMES OF THE FENCE AND GATE IN THE BODY OF YOUR RESPONSE EMAIL. This is for ordering purposes.

Thank you.

Buster

On 12-5-09, Lewis Taylor wrote:
Yes that is the exact thing that i want,i will like you to know that i will be recomending you with a shipping company for pic up,so i will like you to get the weight of the fence and quantity of it and send to the shipping company,so that they will e mail u back with the shipping cost and u e mail it back to me,thier e mail address is.. FACEMANSHIPPING@COOLTOAD. And also i will like to know if you have them now ready .hope to hear from u back.

On 12-5-09, Vladdio wrote to the “shipper” and copied to Lewis Taylor:
Dear Mr. FACEMANSHIPPING@COOLTOAD,

Mr. Lewis Taylor has asked that I contact you regarding a shipment of fence. You will be the shipper. See details below.

The material will be on one pallet 48" x 64" x 72" high. The total weight will be 640 lbs.

The pick up address is:

The Jumbo Bumble Bee Scurvy Leg Fence Company
Flying Pomegranate Industrial Park
5200 Super Goober Blvd.
Happy Cookie, MN 55144

McCoy MacTush McFadden
(You can call me "Mac". Nobody calls me "Buster")

On 12-7-09, the shipper wrote:
Hello,
Thank you very much for the mail,we have checked the weight and the quantity ,it is going to cost you $4,586.00 this inclouds Tax and customs way bills.i will wait to hear from u so that i can give you my address for payment.

On 12-7-09, Lewis Taylor wrote:
Thank you very much for the mail,i will like to know what you have found out for the shipping cost,Also i will like you to do me a favour which is am in a contrnce for 3 days which i will not be able to have the time and make payment to the shipping company,i will like you to assit me make the payment to them,which is i will give you my credit card for you to run your charges and also run the amount the shipping charges is and contact them for payment so that they can arrange for pic up.i know this will be a littile hard.i hope to hear from you back.

On 12-7-09, Vladdio wrote:
Dear Lewis,

I have copied your shipper's email into this one. As you can see the shipping costs are $4,586.00.
I understand that you wish me to pay the shipper since you are either out of the country or in a conference.

This is not a problem at all. However since it does constitute a bit of an inconvenience to me, I will add a $2,000 "inconvenience fee". This brings your total from $4,586.00 to $6,586.00.

Add this to the $7,620.00 for the material and you have $14,206.00.

Lewis, in my line of business, we rarely invoice for oddly written numbers like $14,206.00. Instead we almost always round up to the next thousand. I'm sure you'll understand. Therefore your new price is $15,000.00.

Please note that there is a palletting fee of $125 bringing your total to $15,125.00 OR - rounding up: $16,000.00.

Please provide your credit card information ASAP.

Thank you.

Buster

On 12-7-09, Lewis Taylor wrote:
Name on card... xxxx xxxx xxxx 588
card type...Master card
Exp date........xx/xx/2012
cvv........... xxx

On 12-7-09, Vladdio wrote:
Dear Lewis,

In order to process your credit card I need the following:

- the address MasterCard has on file for this card
- You middle name. If you don't have one, you MUST choose "F". (I don't know why.)
- A security question. The Credit Card companies now require this. It's to prevent identity theft.
You could ask, for example: If I fell off of a Ferris Wheel, would I rather land on the "Tilt-A-Whirl" or the "Wild Mouse"?
(If this is too difficult for you, let me recommend one: Would I rather die by being ripped apart by orangutans or baboons? Please choose one, or make up a question of your own.)
- Your pledge that you are an honest man.

Thank you.

Buster

On 12-10-09, Vladdio wrote:
Dear Lewis,

I'm still waiting for your response to my last email. I cannot process your credit card without the information I requested.

Please get back to me as soon as you can.

If you are having trouble coming up with an appropriate security question, perhaps I can help. Most people fall back on the old standard types of questions. Why not use one of these. (It will speed things along.)

- What is the birthday of your dog?
- How many scars do you have below the waist?
- Who is your favorite Nazi War Criminal?
- Who gave you your first hickey?
- What is your ATM PIN number?

Please indicate which one of these you want to use and answer it and send to me right away.

Thanks.

Buster

On 12-10-09, Lewis Taylor wrote:
I will like to use What is your freinds name?Answer,mike,dear customer the shipping is waiting to get there to u,why dont u paythem so that they can be there early to pic up the fence.contact them for payment information.

On 12-10-09, Vladdio wrote:
Dear Lewis F. Taylor,

Thank you for complying with the security question section of the credit card processing.

Please note: You security question: What is your freinds name?Answer,mike is rated as "ULTRA LOW" . This means that the likelihood of identity theft for you is "ULTRA HIGH". Studies indicate that this question is used 82% of the time and 98% of the time it is used, it is used by people typically with IQs lower than 50. The answer you provided (mike) is used for this question 91% of the time and is the most popular answer. The second most popular answer is "Bob", then "John", then "Joe". All of these make an already weak security question even less secure. However, had you answered that your friend's name was "Lord Fire-Toad", the consequent security level would be HIGH. (In truth, very few people have friends named "Lord Fire-Toad". I personally only know of one.)

Following receipt of this security question, I tried to run your credit card through our machine but it appears that there is one digit missing from your card number. Although I am assuming that it is one of these: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, or even 0, I do not know where it belongs in the string of numbers you provided: xxxx xxxx xxxx 588. Please review and get back to me ASAP.

Thanks.

Buster

On 12-10-09, Lewis Taylor wrote:
Okay,i think i have to call my bank,But i will like you to do me a favour pls i want you to send the shipping company the half of they payment so that they will put my items in the list of their pick up so that they can be there early,so that when you charge my card and you get all ur money out of it,u can contact the shipping company for payment address asoon as u are ready to make payemnt to them.Try this card number xxxx xxxx xxxx 588

On 12-10-09, Vladdio wrote:
Dear Lewis,

The shipping cost for this order is $4,586.00. Half of that is $2,293.00. I don't think it's fair that you would have to put up half of the shipping at this point. It was agreed that I would pay the full shipping after processing your credit card. I hope you don't think I'm trying to get one over on you.

You are kind and generous if somewhat dim, and I appreciate it. I wish more of my customers were as low-brow and unenlightened as you. However there is another issue and that is the address that MasterCard has on file for this credit card. You still haven't provided it. I need to know this ASAP.

Thanks.

Buster

PS. We just had a "selective rate increase" and, as luck would have it, YOU have been selected for this rate increase. But don't worry. The price only went up 1%. So whereas your price was $16,000, the new price at 1% more is $16,160 - which rounds up to $17,000. Please make note of this.

Thanks again.

Buster

PPS. Your credit card number is still one digit short.