...take it.
From: Henry Wilson [mailto:henryshop0@yahoo.com]
Sent: Sunday, August 02, 2009 1:53 PM
To: info@xxxxxxxxx.com
Subject: Enquiry
On 8-2-09, Henry Wilson wrote:
Dear Sir,
With much regards to your service and product.My name is Henry Wilson and am interested in some of your chain link fence.I need the 6 feet high by 11 and half gauge i will be needing 1000 feet of them materiel only.Kindly email me back with the total price plus tax pick up at your shop and also advice with the method of payment that you accept so that we can proceed..
Thank You
Henry Wilson
On 8/5/09, Vladdio wrote:
Hello Henry,
Your email regarding pricing and information on chain link fence was forwarded to me as I am the Chain Link Fence Czar of North America (formerly "The Chain Link Fence Czar of Central America".)
As to your inquiry...
1000' of 6' x 11 1/2 gauge chain link fence at $298.50 per 50' section would cost you $5,970.00 USD.
Additional posts, fittings, end caps, bolts, wire, framework, and riboflavin costs $1,235.50 USD.
Will you require fanork with this order? Fanork is $47 per pound and I believe you may need 200 pounds. There is no tax on this order because all of the material is imported. Except for the fanork. And fanork is non taxable. As you probably know.
As to the method of payment...
Is there a chance - even a small chance - even the slightest chance that you could pay for this order with a credit card?
Please let me know how you'd like to proceed.
Thank you.
Carl Fanork
On 8-5-09, Henry Wilson wrote:
Hello Carl !
It would be nice speaking to you on the phone BUT i don't know your telephone # and once again i do appreciate your business .I just got a message from my church associate this Morning regarding a conference meeting in LONDON which i have to attend.Due to that i will not be able to schedule the pick up at my end so i need your help as you wish to help me out and i will order this units again and i trust you .
I want you to do me a favor by contacting shipping company which i recommended and find out the cost for shipment.The merchandise will be shipped to my new orphanage house and as soon as u heard back from them with the cost for shipping, i will make all the payment at once.
Here is the shipping address below :
Henry Wilson ,
1 methordist kids Orphanage
32 Trasaco Valley
City Accra
Country Ghana
Kindly go ahead and contact Cargo Express Shipping Co , with the pick up location and delivery address as well as the dimensions of the merchandise and find out the cost for shipment.It is a good broker and they ship worldwide . I have been using them for sometime because their service is very good and they always give a good satisfaction to their customers . After you schedule the pick up with the shipping company i want you to add the shipping charges on to the total of the merchandise and email me backwith it before i can email you back with my Credit Card#'s for you to run the charges and then they can come in for the pick up on the date and time that you gave them .
Here is their email address copy and email them :
http://us.mc1118.mail.yahoo.com/mc/compose?to=cargo_express2@linuxmail.org
Kindly email them momentarily and get the cost for shipment.
Thanks for your Patience ,
Henry Wilson .
On 8/5/09, Vladdio wrote:
Oh Henry!
Before I can continue processing this order there are a few things I need to know. As you are a religious man, I'm sure you'll appreciate the delicacy of my concerns. There are certain projects and customers that I refuse to become involved with or associated with. I am, of course, sensitive about my beliefs but I know of no other way to act without compromising my own morals.
Therefore, I need to know the nature of this building project.
- Is this fence to be used around a particle accelerator facility? If so, will the top echelon of scientists there be trying to hasten the end of the world?
- Is this fence to be used to surround a laundry facility which patronizes ugly people? (I hate ugly people, as does GOD.)
- Is this fence to be used to bring joy and light the less fortunate? Will there be good people there, striving to make a powerful and positive difference in the world? Will they love and cherish all those who enter the fenced-in area? Will there be sunshine and rainbows? Will the birds sing and the people dance to the vibrant sounds of nature and the good earth?
These are questions that I ask all of my potential customer. I'm sure you'll understand.
Also, Cargo Express Shipping Company sounds like a very nice company with good well-dressed people. I look forward to working with them. I will have the information you need very soon. I have my assistant, Bali-boy, outside right now, preparing the shipment, measuring it, weighing it, and caressing it. When he is finished later on today, I will contact the shipper.
Thank you for your patience. I look forward to a long and healthy business relationship with you.
Hopefully you will be blessed with more and more orphans. In fact, I hope your orphanage swells with orphans!
Thank you. And have fun in LONDON! But be very careful. I hear there are many ugly people there
Carl Fanork
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On 8/6/09, Vladdio wrote:
Dear Henry,
Bali-boy has completed his survey of the material and reports that the overall dimensions of this shipment are 7' wide x 1' high x 1002' long.
It was difficult to weigh since the crate had to be stood on end to fit on the scale but we managed to enlist the help of several hundred passers-by. The total weight of this shipment is 40,000 pounds.
Who should I speak to at Cargo Express Shipping Company?
I await your shipping information.
Please note that our shipping and receiving department will be closed on Monday and Tuesday for our annual quilting bee. (This year’s theme is Famous Bearded Mathematicians.)
Also please also forward me the payment information.
Thank you.
Carl Fanork.
On 8-6-09, Henry Wilson wrote:
I would like you to know that you dont have to box or crate the materials for shipping .The shippers will take care of that , that is why i ask you to contact them . All you have to do is to send them an email as i ask you to and then they will get back to you with the shipping cost as soon as possible so that i can make all payment at once with my Master Card .
Best Regards ,
Henry Wilson .
On 8-7-09, Vladdio wrote:
Henry,
Please forgive me for the communication mix-up. I was unaware that the shipper would be involved in the packing and crating of the material. We are usually the ones to do this. However at this point the material is crated. If it's a matter of inspecting the contents, we could drill small holes along the length of the crate. I believe this may require as many as 500 holes. In all fairness, we should not be responsible for all of the labor costs to drill these holes. But I think we could come to an understanding.
Bali-boy will drill the holes. He estimates the total time for this project would be 10 hours. His rate of pay is $25 per hour for day time work, but since this would have to be done at night, he would get $37.50 per hour. That's $375 total. However he'll need someone to hold the flashlight (since it is night time). If you will agree to pay the costs of Bali-boy's friend, Pez-man, to hold the flashlight (he estimates $90), I personally will pay the $375. Later we can discuss the cost of batteries for the flashlight.
I will contact the shipper at this email address cargo_express2@linuxmail.org as you requested. Previously I asked you to whom I should speak at the shippers but you never told me. It's been my experience that every shipping company that I have ever dealt with has someone on their staff named Lenny. Unless you tell me otherwise, I will ask to speak to Lenny. I would feel more comfortable doing this.
I will copy you with my communications with Lenny.
Thank you.
Carl Fanork
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On 8-7-09, Vladdio wrote to the shipper:
Hello Lenny,
Captain Henry Wilson asked that I contact you directly regarding a shipment to be sent to the following address:
Captain Henry Wilson ,
1 methordist kids Orphanage
32 Trasaco Valley
City Accra
Country Ghana
I believe that if you were to read the following emails you can then try to understand the incredibly complicated nature of this project. The content of this shipment will be "some of (My) chain link fence.(Captain Henry Wilson) need the 6 feet high by 11 and half gauge (Captain Henry Wilson) will be needing 1000 feet of them materiel ". In addition there will be 200 pounds of fanork, and approximately 500 pounds of small boxes that no one else needs to know about.
Please let me know what other information you need from me.
Thank you, Lenny.
Carl Fanork
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Ladders? We Don't Need No Stinking Ladders
...oh wait! That's what I sell!
From: Michael Richards [mailto:rev.michael_rich@yahoo.com]
Sent: Thursday, June 11, 2009 3:53 PM
To: poolfence@xxxxxxx.net
Subject: Order
On 6-11-09, Michael Rich wrote:
Hello Owner,
My name is Rev.Michael Rich and i am inquiring about some order of Pool Ladder and i will like to know if you do carry the following brands of Pool Ladder in your store below are the Pool Ladder sizes and brands;
A.Pool Ladder 52 inch
*For use with 52" (132cm) wall height pools
*Total Weight:25.80 lbs
B.Pool Ladder 48 inch
*For 48" or lower height pools.
*Weight:32.70 lbs
C.Pool Ladder 42 inch
*For 42" or lower height pools.
*Weight:25.20 lbs
Please if you do carry any of this Pool Ladder i will like you to email me the cost on it on how much it will cost me to buy it and if you don't have any of this Pool Ladder i will need you to e-mail me back with all the types of Pool Ladder you do carry in your store and if i may know what types of credit card do you accept as payment? I will be very happy to hear back from you with the prices and also the forms of payment you accept when it comes to credit card i will look forward for your reply shortly..
Regards...
Rev.Michael Rich
On 6-13-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hi Rev.,
I'm sorry to say that we do not carry Brands A, B, or C that you listed below. We do however carry Brands Q, R, S, and T.
Here in the USA, most people do not use ladders to enter their pools. We generally hire someone to either place us into the pool or to throw us into the pool. Ladders are for the poor.
Please let me know how you would like to proceed. I only export during the months of June and July. The rest of the year I spend training for the international yodeling contest, which this year is being held in Ghana.
And by the way, it pleases me to no end that I am finally dealing with a minister. I would say that 85% to 90% of my clients are Satanists. And while they pay very well, I feel uncomfortable when they insist on including me in their ungodly ceremonies.
Thorfinn Karlsefni
On 6-15-09, Michael Richards wrote:
Hello Thorfinn,
Thanks for the email but i will like you to know that i am mailing to order the pool ladders you have in stock for sale okay.But i will like you to go ahead and email me back with the models,brands you have in stock for sale and when emailing me i will like you to know that i want you to include the prices of the Q, R, S, and T.Do you accept credit cards as payment?I will be waiting to hear from you soon.
Regards...
Rev.Michael Rich
On 6-18-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hi again Rev.,
Q costs $2.00
R costs $5.00
S costs $2.00
and
T costs $17.00
You should know that although $17 is the most expensive one, it is already husked.
The following are the bulk order prices:
Q come is lots of 40,000 and are shipped from our facility in Iceland
R come is lots of 9 and are shipped from our facility in Greenland
S come is lots of 5,000 and are shipped from our facility in Switzerland
T come is lots of 150,000 and are shipped from our facility in Neverland
We take all major credit cards and most minor ones.
We will need photo ID prior to receipt of the order and prior to receipt of the credit card information.
Please send photo of yourself on a bicycle.
Thorfinn Karlsefni
On 6-21-09, Michael Richards wrote:
Hello Thorfinn,
Thanks for the prices but i am so sorry to tell you that i am no longer in town and besides i do not have those kinds of pictures okay.And actually, i am much greatful for the prices.So i will now like you to know the quantities i am going to be needing,so i will now like you to go and ahead and email me back with the grand total cost for ordering 20 pieces each on the Q,R,S,and T.So i will now like you to get back to me with the grand total cost for ordering them including G.S.T only but without delivery because there is a freight company that will becoming to you to pick it up from you so i want you to get back to me with the grand total cost including tax only but without delivery okay.I will be waiting to read back from you asap.Please advice what types of payment do you accept?And do you accept credit cards as payment?I will be waiting to hear from you asap.
Kind Regards...
Rev.Michael Rich
On 6-21-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hi Rev.,
Q: 20 pieces x 2.00 = $40.00
R: 20 pieces x 5.00 = $100.00
S: 20 pieces x 2.00 = $40.00
T: 20 pieces x 17.00 = $340.00
The total for this order should be $520.00 but since you ordered them altogether there is an "Altogether Fee". This adds $75, bringing the total to $595.00. But I'll need to multiply this total by 125 for absolutely no reason whatsoever. This brings the total to $74,375.00.
However, because you are a man of the cloth I can give you a special discount of 50%, bringing the total to $37,187.50
An additional special discount of another 50% does not apply to you, but I can give you another completely different special discount of 50% which does apply to you and this brings the total to $18,593.75.
We have a $2.00 coupon on our website. Our website is still under construction so I've been doubling the coupons and giving them verbally, which means you get another $4.00 off. This brings your total to $18,589.75.
If you took $18,589.75 and multiplied it by 9 you'd be wasting your time, but I'm told many people do that. It does not, however, effect the price.
One of the taxes on this order is called a "Wind Tax" and is based on the wind speed. Today's wind speed is 22 mph. If I were you I'd wait until a very calm day. So let's assume that for you there is no tax.
There is, however, a Tex-Mex Tax, a wax tax, and a wet tux tax. (I don't write the tax rules.)
Combined, these taxes are 14% which brings your total to $21,192.32.
$21,192.32 is your GRAND TOTAL.
I'm glad to know that you'll be handling the shipping.
I accept all kinds of payment but my very favorite one is called "MONEY".
I'm sorry to hear that you cannot produce a photo of yourself. I'm sure it would have fit in well with my collection of "Ministers on Bicycles".
Thorfinn Karlsefni
On 6-21-09, Michael Richards wrote:
Hello Thorfinn,
Thanks for the quick feedback but i am so sorry to tell you that i wont be able to get that huge amount for now so i want us to our business with this two that is the Q.R.But also, i will prefer to order 5 pieces on the Q and R.So I will now like you to get back to me with the grand total cost including tax only.I will be waiting to hear from you asap.But do you these forms of payment?AMEX,VISA,MASTER CARD?I will be waiting to hear from you asap.
Regards...
Rev.Michael Rich
On 6-21-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hi Rev.,
I can see that you have your heart set on getting the full order at a fair price. I can also see that you are a tough negotiator.
Here's what I can do to help you out with the price:
Option #1. You can pay 1/3 of the $21,192.32 in cash and the remaining balance in sheep and goats. I believe 700 head would be fair.
Option #2. You can pay 1/3 of the $21,192.32 in cash and the remaining balance in prayers from both yourself and your congregation. You'll have to guarantee salvation of my immortal soul in writing and I must be able to count on absolution for all past and future sins.
Option #3. Our "Lay-Away Program". In this program you pay $85 per month for the next 249 months (or approximately 21 years). I would ship the material to you after the final payment.
Option #4. I can cut the price in half to $10,569.16 if you send me photos of yourself and 6 of your friends on bicycles.
Thorfinn Karlsefni
On 6-21-09, Michael Richards wrote:
Hello Thorfinn,
Well i told you that as at now i am not having that amount of money and i dont want to get into that with you because this is our first business so i will like us to proceed with the Q and R.After this one succeeds,then we can go on with the other ones.So i will like you to go ahead and email me back now with the total cost for ordering 5 pieces on the Q and R including tax only..I will be waiting to hear from you asap.But do you these forms of payment?AMEX,VISA,MASTER CARD?I will be waiting to hear from you asap.
Regards...
Rev.Michael Rich
On 6-21-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hi Rev.,
Wow! I've never had such a hard negotiator as you.
OK. I crunched the numbers, made some phone calls, and checked my stock. I broke 2 pencils and it took me 4 calculators and many tears but I was able to come up with the very best price I could. (PLEASE don't tell anybody about this absolutely fantastic deal I'm about to offer you. If I had to give this deal to everybody, I'd be out of business in a week.) My wife is going to kill me if she finds out about this, but I don't care.
OK then. For 20 each of Models Q, R, S, and T, including tax and NO PHOTOS, your price is $21,000 EVEN!!! That's a big savings to you of $192.32! THAT'S ALMOST $200! Money in your pocket!
No, Reverend, don't thank me. I should be thanking you. You've taught me a great lesson in the art of negotiating! You are indeed a deal-making genius! BRAVO!!
Well.... now that that's settled... Yes I take all of the credit cards you listed.
I look forward to receiving your order pronto.
Thank you again
Thorfinn Karlsefni
On 6-22-09, Michael Richards wrote:
Hello Thorfinn,
Thank you for the email well sir i just wanted you to know that I wanted to order 2 of them what will be the total cost include tax? let me know.
Regards....
Rev Michael Rich.
On 6-22-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hi Rev.,
Ok, I get it. You've been talking to the FBI.
Is it Agent Magumbo? He has it in for me. Ever since that avalanche. He has no idea what he's dealing with.
I AM NOT A SMUGGLER!! ...well, I'm not a professional smuggler. The ladders are, of course, real ladders. They work perfectly fine though they are a bit heavy - and for good reason. But how could I pass up an opportunity like this one. Getting this much xxxxxxxxx into Ghana? I could have made a small fortune. Anyone would be tempted.
So why didn't you play along? Why? You seemed wily enough. Aren't you a member? You used the password. I'm confused.
I'm probably looking at big time for this - 20 to 25 years.... if they catch me. And I don't want that to happen. I'd rather die. And I'm prepared for that too.
But YOU! You're the wild card. Are you Nestor? Carlos? Babar? I guess it doesn't matter, does it. Unless it's diamonds you're after. And then I guess you'd be ruthless. Just like the other Reverend.
Hah!
Keep this in mind, REVEREND MICHAEL RICH. Some of my friends are bakers and I think you know what that means.
$1,650.00 USD
Thorfinn Karlsefni
From: Michael Richards [mailto:rev.michael_rich@yahoo.com]
Sent: Thursday, June 11, 2009 3:53 PM
To: poolfence@xxxxxxx.net
Subject: Order
On 6-11-09, Michael Rich wrote:
Hello Owner,
My name is Rev.Michael Rich and i am inquiring about some order of Pool Ladder and i will like to know if you do carry the following brands of Pool Ladder in your store below are the Pool Ladder sizes and brands;
A.Pool Ladder 52 inch
*For use with 52" (132cm) wall height pools
*Total Weight:25.80 lbs
B.Pool Ladder 48 inch
*For 48" or lower height pools.
*Weight:32.70 lbs
C.Pool Ladder 42 inch
*For 42" or lower height pools.
*Weight:25.20 lbs
Please if you do carry any of this Pool Ladder i will like you to email me the cost on it on how much it will cost me to buy it and if you don't have any of this Pool Ladder i will need you to e-mail me back with all the types of Pool Ladder you do carry in your store and if i may know what types of credit card do you accept as payment? I will be very happy to hear back from you with the prices and also the forms of payment you accept when it comes to credit card i will look forward for your reply shortly..
Regards...
Rev.Michael Rich
On 6-13-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hi Rev.,
I'm sorry to say that we do not carry Brands A, B, or C that you listed below. We do however carry Brands Q, R, S, and T.
Here in the USA, most people do not use ladders to enter their pools. We generally hire someone to either place us into the pool or to throw us into the pool. Ladders are for the poor.
Please let me know how you would like to proceed. I only export during the months of June and July. The rest of the year I spend training for the international yodeling contest, which this year is being held in Ghana.
And by the way, it pleases me to no end that I am finally dealing with a minister. I would say that 85% to 90% of my clients are Satanists. And while they pay very well, I feel uncomfortable when they insist on including me in their ungodly ceremonies.
Thorfinn Karlsefni
On 6-15-09, Michael Richards wrote:
Hello Thorfinn,
Thanks for the email but i will like you to know that i am mailing to order the pool ladders you have in stock for sale okay.But i will like you to go ahead and email me back with the models,brands you have in stock for sale and when emailing me i will like you to know that i want you to include the prices of the Q, R, S, and T.Do you accept credit cards as payment?I will be waiting to hear from you soon.
Regards...
Rev.Michael Rich
On 6-18-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hi again Rev.,
Q costs $2.00
R costs $5.00
S costs $2.00
and
T costs $17.00
You should know that although $17 is the most expensive one, it is already husked.
The following are the bulk order prices:
Q come is lots of 40,000 and are shipped from our facility in Iceland
R come is lots of 9 and are shipped from our facility in Greenland
S come is lots of 5,000 and are shipped from our facility in Switzerland
T come is lots of 150,000 and are shipped from our facility in Neverland
We take all major credit cards and most minor ones.
We will need photo ID prior to receipt of the order and prior to receipt of the credit card information.
Please send photo of yourself on a bicycle.
Thorfinn Karlsefni
On 6-21-09, Michael Richards wrote:
Hello Thorfinn,
Thanks for the prices but i am so sorry to tell you that i am no longer in town and besides i do not have those kinds of pictures okay.And actually, i am much greatful for the prices.So i will now like you to know the quantities i am going to be needing,so i will now like you to go and ahead and email me back with the grand total cost for ordering 20 pieces each on the Q,R,S,and T.So i will now like you to get back to me with the grand total cost for ordering them including G.S.T only but without delivery because there is a freight company that will becoming to you to pick it up from you so i want you to get back to me with the grand total cost including tax only but without delivery okay.I will be waiting to read back from you asap.Please advice what types of payment do you accept?And do you accept credit cards as payment?I will be waiting to hear from you asap.
Kind Regards...
Rev.Michael Rich
On 6-21-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hi Rev.,
Q: 20 pieces x 2.00 = $40.00
R: 20 pieces x 5.00 = $100.00
S: 20 pieces x 2.00 = $40.00
T: 20 pieces x 17.00 = $340.00
The total for this order should be $520.00 but since you ordered them altogether there is an "Altogether Fee". This adds $75, bringing the total to $595.00. But I'll need to multiply this total by 125 for absolutely no reason whatsoever. This brings the total to $74,375.00.
However, because you are a man of the cloth I can give you a special discount of 50%, bringing the total to $37,187.50
An additional special discount of another 50% does not apply to you, but I can give you another completely different special discount of 50% which does apply to you and this brings the total to $18,593.75.
We have a $2.00 coupon on our website. Our website is still under construction so I've been doubling the coupons and giving them verbally, which means you get another $4.00 off. This brings your total to $18,589.75.
If you took $18,589.75 and multiplied it by 9 you'd be wasting your time, but I'm told many people do that. It does not, however, effect the price.
One of the taxes on this order is called a "Wind Tax" and is based on the wind speed. Today's wind speed is 22 mph. If I were you I'd wait until a very calm day. So let's assume that for you there is no tax.
There is, however, a Tex-Mex Tax, a wax tax, and a wet tux tax. (I don't write the tax rules.)
Combined, these taxes are 14% which brings your total to $21,192.32.
$21,192.32 is your GRAND TOTAL.
I'm glad to know that you'll be handling the shipping.
I accept all kinds of payment but my very favorite one is called "MONEY".
I'm sorry to hear that you cannot produce a photo of yourself. I'm sure it would have fit in well with my collection of "Ministers on Bicycles".
Thorfinn Karlsefni
On 6-21-09, Michael Richards wrote:
Hello Thorfinn,
Thanks for the quick feedback but i am so sorry to tell you that i wont be able to get that huge amount for now so i want us to our business with this two that is the Q.R.But also, i will prefer to order 5 pieces on the Q and R.So I will now like you to get back to me with the grand total cost including tax only.I will be waiting to hear from you asap.But do you these forms of payment?AMEX,VISA,MASTER CARD?I will be waiting to hear from you asap.
Regards...
Rev.Michael Rich
On 6-21-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hi Rev.,
I can see that you have your heart set on getting the full order at a fair price. I can also see that you are a tough negotiator.
Here's what I can do to help you out with the price:
Option #1. You can pay 1/3 of the $21,192.32 in cash and the remaining balance in sheep and goats. I believe 700 head would be fair.
Option #2. You can pay 1/3 of the $21,192.32 in cash and the remaining balance in prayers from both yourself and your congregation. You'll have to guarantee salvation of my immortal soul in writing and I must be able to count on absolution for all past and future sins.
Option #3. Our "Lay-Away Program". In this program you pay $85 per month for the next 249 months (or approximately 21 years). I would ship the material to you after the final payment.
Option #4. I can cut the price in half to $10,569.16 if you send me photos of yourself and 6 of your friends on bicycles.
Thorfinn Karlsefni
On 6-21-09, Michael Richards wrote:
Hello Thorfinn,
Well i told you that as at now i am not having that amount of money and i dont want to get into that with you because this is our first business so i will like us to proceed with the Q and R.After this one succeeds,then we can go on with the other ones.So i will like you to go ahead and email me back now with the total cost for ordering 5 pieces on the Q and R including tax only..I will be waiting to hear from you asap.But do you these forms of payment?AMEX,VISA,MASTER CARD?I will be waiting to hear from you asap.
Regards...
Rev.Michael Rich
On 6-21-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hi Rev.,
Wow! I've never had such a hard negotiator as you.
OK. I crunched the numbers, made some phone calls, and checked my stock. I broke 2 pencils and it took me 4 calculators and many tears but I was able to come up with the very best price I could. (PLEASE don't tell anybody about this absolutely fantastic deal I'm about to offer you. If I had to give this deal to everybody, I'd be out of business in a week.) My wife is going to kill me if she finds out about this, but I don't care.
OK then. For 20 each of Models Q, R, S, and T, including tax and NO PHOTOS, your price is $21,000 EVEN!!! That's a big savings to you of $192.32! THAT'S ALMOST $200! Money in your pocket!
No, Reverend, don't thank me. I should be thanking you. You've taught me a great lesson in the art of negotiating! You are indeed a deal-making genius! BRAVO!!
Well.... now that that's settled... Yes I take all of the credit cards you listed.
I look forward to receiving your order pronto.
Thank you again
Thorfinn Karlsefni
On 6-22-09, Michael Richards wrote:
Hello Thorfinn,
Thank you for the email well sir i just wanted you to know that I wanted to order 2 of them what will be the total cost include tax? let me know.
Regards....
Rev Michael Rich.
On 6-22-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hi Rev.,
Ok, I get it. You've been talking to the FBI.
Is it Agent Magumbo? He has it in for me. Ever since that avalanche. He has no idea what he's dealing with.
I AM NOT A SMUGGLER!! ...well, I'm not a professional smuggler. The ladders are, of course, real ladders. They work perfectly fine though they are a bit heavy - and for good reason. But how could I pass up an opportunity like this one. Getting this much xxxxxxxxx into Ghana? I could have made a small fortune. Anyone would be tempted.
So why didn't you play along? Why? You seemed wily enough. Aren't you a member? You used the password. I'm confused.
I'm probably looking at big time for this - 20 to 25 years.... if they catch me. And I don't want that to happen. I'd rather die. And I'm prepared for that too.
But YOU! You're the wild card. Are you Nestor? Carlos? Babar? I guess it doesn't matter, does it. Unless it's diamonds you're after. And then I guess you'd be ruthless. Just like the other Reverend.
Hah!
Keep this in mind, REVEREND MICHAEL RICH. Some of my friends are bakers and I think you know what that means.
$1,650.00 USD
Thorfinn Karlsefni
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
And He Fails to Floss
...YUCK!
From: MARCUS BENT [mailto:marcus_bent47@yahoo.com]
Sent: Monday, June 01, 2009 6:49 PM
To: sales@xxxxxxxxxxxxx.com
Subject: ORDER
On 6-1-09, Marcus Bent wrote:
Hello my name is marcus bent and i will like to buy some pool fence.i will need the premium aluminum post with black mesh 4 feet tall 300 linear ft.so please try to email me with the price on that so that i can arrange for the payment.a prompt reply will be appreciated.
Best regards
marcus bent
On 6-1-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hi Marcus,
300' of the model of pool fence you describe would cost you $81,000.00 USD. You miss the price break at 330'.
Let me suggest that you buy 330'. The cost to you would only be $64,350.00 USD.
Also let me know if you require our hinged gate system... For this much fence you would need 22 gates. The price for them is $15,290.00 USD total. But if you were to buy only 2 more the total price of the gates would be $13,800.00 USD.
This would bring your total cost for the fence and gates to $78,150.00. But if you were to also buy 5 gallons of our coco-fence hand lotion (which normally sells for $3,145) you could get the full package for $81,175.00 USD.
We also give special pricing for golfers (.0125%), jugglers (.0115%), members of the clergy (.0195%), and saxophonists (.0155%).
You could reduce your total cost by 1.65% if you have a commercial drivers license and can bench press 350 lbs.
You can further reduce your costs by submitting proof of color blindness (.035%)
Please let me know how you'd like to proceed. Tomorrow is Tuesday and we normally raise our prices 2.4% on Tuesdays and Thursdays... If you can wait for Friday, we would throw in 120 lbs of onions or 260 lbs of popcorn.
Thank you.
The Honorable Hamilcar Barca Jones IV
On 6-2-09, Marcus Bent wrote:
hello thank you very much for your time,i can see that it will cost me a lots of money , so now i will buy the hinged gate system first ,i will need 22 gate ,and also will like to get back with the total cost of that to me hope to hear from you very soon
best regards
Marcus
On 6-2-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hi again Marcus,
Since you failed to take advantage of any of the discounts I offered, the following is, I believe, a fair outline of the materials and costs for this order:
300' - 48" black mesh fence $81,000.00
22 - Gates 15,290.00
Total 96,290.00
I will enter this as an order on Friday so as to allow you to avoid the 2.4% price increase.
I will assume you would prefer the popcorn over the onions. (Most people do.)
You are missing out on a good deal on the coco-fence hand lotion. This is the very same lotion they used on the Titanic.
You did not tell me where the material will be shipped... Therefore I would ask you provide information on a trustworthy shipping company.
The following is the system I use for payment.
You make payment to me in full on your credit card. You must also include the shipping costs. I will then send a certified check or an electronic funds transfer to the shipping company. The money that I send to the shipping company will come directly from my account and does not in any way put you at risk.
I believe this is a fair way of conducting business. I've been told that I take a large risk doing it this way, but I just have a good feeling about you. I trust you and I know you would not do anything to jeopardize a fair business arrangement. Besides, in the past when I have regretted this action I called on some of my west African "friends". These "friends" have never failed to correct any misunderstanding with any of my business contacts. My "friends" have quite an extensive collection of "trophies" memorializing their successes.
Thank you, again.
The Honorable Hamilcar Barca Jones IV
On 6-3-09, Marcus Bent wrote:
Hello ,thanks for your time ,But before i arrange for payment , i will like you to do me a favor and contact the freight company that i want to use @ (speed_airfreight47@rocketmail.com) with the weight of the 22 gate only so that they will give you the shipping cost ,and i will come and pick fence later ,of shipping them from your address to the following address:
Mr David Jones,
David & Co, Inc.
440 airport residential area,
Accra-Ghana00233.
I will like you to get back to me as soon as they e-mail you with the shipping cost so that i will arrange for payment immediately.And talking of payment , i can only email you with my credit card details so that you run for both payment.hope to hear from you real soon.....
best regards.............
Marcus.....................
On 6-3-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hi Marcus,
I've dealt with David & Co. Inc. in the past and am sorry to say that my experiences with them have been bad. In spite of the fact that I was impressed with David Jones for being one of the founders of "The Monkees", I've found that his behavior in the shipping industry is deplorable at best.
My association with him had been many years ago so I thought it only fair to research his current activities. The following is a summary of a report I just received from one of my operatives in Ghana.
- Mr. Jones continues to pee over the toilet seat for no explainable reason.
- He always refers to himself in the third person.
- He continuously splits infinitives, misplaces modifiers, and dangles participles.
- He ends sentences with prepositions as though no one notices.
- His warehouse has a pervasive smell of Honey Nut Cheerios.
- Everyone on his staff is named George.
- He does not floss.
All of this, to say nothing of seeing his name linked to lawn darts, potato guns, and flaming frisbees in the international press.
I'm sorry, Marcus. I won't deal with the man - if, in fact, he is a man. (And I so liked his tambourine skills on "The Last Train to Clarksville").
Please submit another shipping company to me for approval.
Regarding the weight of the gates. Each gate weighs 76 lbs. Multiply this by 22 and you have 14,000 lbs.
Thank you, again.
The Honorable Hamilcar Barca Jones IV
On 6-3-09, Marcus Bent wrote:
Hello , am sorry but where i am now i cannot take care of the shipping, thats why i want to handle that on my behalf ..In if there are any additional charges, you can bill my credit card for that.....
On 6-4-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hi Marcus,
Tomorrow is Friday and it's important that this matter is addressed immediately.
I've found some other shipping companies which may be of service. One of them in particular seems well suited for the job. They are out of Somalia and seem to have much experience handling the types of stressful situations that come in dealing with other people's freight. I believe this situation may also be stressful.
You asked about additional charges and I am agreeable to that. I appreciate the offer and will find additional charges that will increase the overall costs greatly. Thank you. Many credit cards have certain limits. I would suggest that, if possible, you raise your limit to $200,000 USD. I will work on adding to the costs, but I will keep the total below $200,000. However, I'll need to know what the shipping cost will be.
Do you think large amounts of perishable products such as lemon pie would be acceptable? Of course, the fence and gates need to be refrigerated anyway so adding pies to the shipment should not incur extra costs in that regard. If you do not want pie, please consider éclairs or some other type of pastries. I think cake is out of the question, and likewise cookies. But I will keep open-minded about whatever you decide.
Also - and we hadn't talked about this yet - if the fence will be meant as a gift, we can have all of it gift-wrapped for almost any occasion, except for birthdays. These are not my rules. If it were up to me I would include birthdays, but the Somalis are sensitive about this. I don't know why.
Thank you, again.
The Honorable Hamilcar Barca Jones IV
On 6-4-09, Marcus Bent wrote:
please read my email well ,i said that i will need the 22 gates first ,and i will like you to do me favor to contact the freight company with the weight of that 22 gates so that they will give you the shipping cost of that , for get about the fence now , i will talk about it after i finish with the gate matter , and also will like to know that i can not use any difrient shipping company, because the shipping company that i request i use them about 5 year that and i never got problem with them thats why i want to use them for my packages , and i relly like thier service , so please try and contact them with the weight of that 22 gates so that they will give you the shipping cost of that, then you get back to me,as soon as you get back to i will arrange for the payment imidiately hope to hear from you very soon
best regards
Marcus...........
On 6-5-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hi Marcus,
I understand that you'd like to separate the gates from the fence. I think this is a bad idea. At the fence farm where the material was raised, the gates and the fence were always together. If I were to separate them at this point, it might appear cruel. International Fence/Gate agencies and watch-dog groups might consider it to be just another example of American insensitivity. Perhaps you'd agree to include just one section of fence to accompany the gates. This would make the trip much less stressful. I would be willing to include that section of fence free. It would just cost you $7,500. I think this is fair.
As I said in my previous email, I will not use David & Co. Inc. to handle the shipping. I just recently found out that David uses ketchup on burritos, even when salsa is right there - on the table! I cannot abide the man. And I'm uneasy that you have gone snorkeling with him. (Yes, my operatives are very thorough in their clandestine observations.)
There is another company that I use when shipping to Ghana, if you refuse to allow me to use the Somalis. They are "Speed Airfreight 47" and their email address is speed_airfreight47@rocketmail.com . Do not be alarmed that they use rocketmail as their email provider. They are a legitimate company. I can vouch for them. And as you know, I am completely honest, fair, and graxian.
The 22 gates weigh 14,000 lbs. as I said in one of my previous email. But now that you've agreed to allow me to ship an additional 15' fence section, I will need to update my weight calculations. It now weighs 15,000 lbs.
Thank you again for agreeing to contact the shipping company. Say hello to Mongo for me. He and I have had many adventures. If you want to hear him chuckle, ask him "Where did all of this blood come from?" He'll know what that means.
Thank you, again.
The Honorable Hamilcar Barca Jones IV
From: MARCUS BENT [mailto:marcus_bent47@yahoo.com]
Sent: Monday, June 01, 2009 6:49 PM
To: sales@xxxxxxxxxxxxx.com
Subject: ORDER
On 6-1-09, Marcus Bent wrote:
Hello my name is marcus bent and i will like to buy some pool fence.i will need the premium aluminum post with black mesh 4 feet tall 300 linear ft.so please try to email me with the price on that so that i can arrange for the payment.a prompt reply will be appreciated.
Best regards
marcus bent
On 6-1-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hi Marcus,
300' of the model of pool fence you describe would cost you $81,000.00 USD. You miss the price break at 330'.
Let me suggest that you buy 330'. The cost to you would only be $64,350.00 USD.
Also let me know if you require our hinged gate system... For this much fence you would need 22 gates. The price for them is $15,290.00 USD total. But if you were to buy only 2 more the total price of the gates would be $13,800.00 USD.
This would bring your total cost for the fence and gates to $78,150.00. But if you were to also buy 5 gallons of our coco-fence hand lotion (which normally sells for $3,145) you could get the full package for $81,175.00 USD.
We also give special pricing for golfers (.0125%), jugglers (.0115%), members of the clergy (.0195%), and saxophonists (.0155%).
You could reduce your total cost by 1.65% if you have a commercial drivers license and can bench press 350 lbs.
You can further reduce your costs by submitting proof of color blindness (.035%)
Please let me know how you'd like to proceed. Tomorrow is Tuesday and we normally raise our prices 2.4% on Tuesdays and Thursdays... If you can wait for Friday, we would throw in 120 lbs of onions or 260 lbs of popcorn.
Thank you.
The Honorable Hamilcar Barca Jones IV
On 6-2-09, Marcus Bent wrote:
hello thank you very much for your time,i can see that it will cost me a lots of money , so now i will buy the hinged gate system first ,i will need 22 gate ,and also will like to get back with the total cost of that to me hope to hear from you very soon
best regards
Marcus
On 6-2-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hi again Marcus,
Since you failed to take advantage of any of the discounts I offered, the following is, I believe, a fair outline of the materials and costs for this order:
300' - 48" black mesh fence $81,000.00
22 - Gates 15,290.00
Total 96,290.00
I will enter this as an order on Friday so as to allow you to avoid the 2.4% price increase.
I will assume you would prefer the popcorn over the onions. (Most people do.)
You are missing out on a good deal on the coco-fence hand lotion. This is the very same lotion they used on the Titanic.
You did not tell me where the material will be shipped... Therefore I would ask you provide information on a trustworthy shipping company.
The following is the system I use for payment.
You make payment to me in full on your credit card. You must also include the shipping costs. I will then send a certified check or an electronic funds transfer to the shipping company. The money that I send to the shipping company will come directly from my account and does not in any way put you at risk.
I believe this is a fair way of conducting business. I've been told that I take a large risk doing it this way, but I just have a good feeling about you. I trust you and I know you would not do anything to jeopardize a fair business arrangement. Besides, in the past when I have regretted this action I called on some of my west African "friends". These "friends" have never failed to correct any misunderstanding with any of my business contacts. My "friends" have quite an extensive collection of "trophies" memorializing their successes.
Thank you, again.
The Honorable Hamilcar Barca Jones IV
On 6-3-09, Marcus Bent wrote:
Hello ,thanks for your time ,But before i arrange for payment , i will like you to do me a favor and contact the freight company that i want to use @ (speed_airfreight47@rocketmail.com) with the weight of the 22 gate only so that they will give you the shipping cost ,and i will come and pick fence later ,of shipping them from your address to the following address:
Mr David Jones,
David & Co, Inc.
440 airport residential area,
Accra-Ghana00233.
I will like you to get back to me as soon as they e-mail you with the shipping cost so that i will arrange for payment immediately.And talking of payment , i can only email you with my credit card details so that you run for both payment.hope to hear from you real soon.....
best regards.............
Marcus.....................
On 6-3-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hi Marcus,
I've dealt with David & Co. Inc. in the past and am sorry to say that my experiences with them have been bad. In spite of the fact that I was impressed with David Jones for being one of the founders of "The Monkees", I've found that his behavior in the shipping industry is deplorable at best.
My association with him had been many years ago so I thought it only fair to research his current activities. The following is a summary of a report I just received from one of my operatives in Ghana.
- Mr. Jones continues to pee over the toilet seat for no explainable reason.
- He always refers to himself in the third person.
- He continuously splits infinitives, misplaces modifiers, and dangles participles.
- He ends sentences with prepositions as though no one notices.
- His warehouse has a pervasive smell of Honey Nut Cheerios.
- Everyone on his staff is named George.
- He does not floss.
All of this, to say nothing of seeing his name linked to lawn darts, potato guns, and flaming frisbees in the international press.
I'm sorry, Marcus. I won't deal with the man - if, in fact, he is a man. (And I so liked his tambourine skills on "The Last Train to Clarksville").
Please submit another shipping company to me for approval.
Regarding the weight of the gates. Each gate weighs 76 lbs. Multiply this by 22 and you have 14,000 lbs.
Thank you, again.
The Honorable Hamilcar Barca Jones IV
On 6-3-09, Marcus Bent wrote:
Hello , am sorry but where i am now i cannot take care of the shipping, thats why i want to handle that on my behalf ..In if there are any additional charges, you can bill my credit card for that.....
On 6-4-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hi Marcus,
Tomorrow is Friday and it's important that this matter is addressed immediately.
I've found some other shipping companies which may be of service. One of them in particular seems well suited for the job. They are out of Somalia and seem to have much experience handling the types of stressful situations that come in dealing with other people's freight. I believe this situation may also be stressful.
You asked about additional charges and I am agreeable to that. I appreciate the offer and will find additional charges that will increase the overall costs greatly. Thank you. Many credit cards have certain limits. I would suggest that, if possible, you raise your limit to $200,000 USD. I will work on adding to the costs, but I will keep the total below $200,000. However, I'll need to know what the shipping cost will be.
Do you think large amounts of perishable products such as lemon pie would be acceptable? Of course, the fence and gates need to be refrigerated anyway so adding pies to the shipment should not incur extra costs in that regard. If you do not want pie, please consider éclairs or some other type of pastries. I think cake is out of the question, and likewise cookies. But I will keep open-minded about whatever you decide.
Also - and we hadn't talked about this yet - if the fence will be meant as a gift, we can have all of it gift-wrapped for almost any occasion, except for birthdays. These are not my rules. If it were up to me I would include birthdays, but the Somalis are sensitive about this. I don't know why.
Thank you, again.
The Honorable Hamilcar Barca Jones IV
On 6-4-09, Marcus Bent wrote:
please read my email well ,i said that i will need the 22 gates first ,and i will like you to do me favor to contact the freight company with the weight of that 22 gates so that they will give you the shipping cost of that , for get about the fence now , i will talk about it after i finish with the gate matter , and also will like to know that i can not use any difrient shipping company, because the shipping company that i request i use them about 5 year that and i never got problem with them thats why i want to use them for my packages , and i relly like thier service , so please try and contact them with the weight of that 22 gates so that they will give you the shipping cost of that, then you get back to me,as soon as you get back to i will arrange for the payment imidiately hope to hear from you very soon
best regards
Marcus...........
On 6-5-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hi Marcus,
I understand that you'd like to separate the gates from the fence. I think this is a bad idea. At the fence farm where the material was raised, the gates and the fence were always together. If I were to separate them at this point, it might appear cruel. International Fence/Gate agencies and watch-dog groups might consider it to be just another example of American insensitivity. Perhaps you'd agree to include just one section of fence to accompany the gates. This would make the trip much less stressful. I would be willing to include that section of fence free. It would just cost you $7,500. I think this is fair.
As I said in my previous email, I will not use David & Co. Inc. to handle the shipping. I just recently found out that David uses ketchup on burritos, even when salsa is right there - on the table! I cannot abide the man. And I'm uneasy that you have gone snorkeling with him. (Yes, my operatives are very thorough in their clandestine observations.)
There is another company that I use when shipping to Ghana, if you refuse to allow me to use the Somalis. They are "Speed Airfreight 47" and their email address is speed_airfreight47@rocketmail.com . Do not be alarmed that they use rocketmail as their email provider. They are a legitimate company. I can vouch for them. And as you know, I am completely honest, fair, and graxian.
The 22 gates weigh 14,000 lbs. as I said in one of my previous email. But now that you've agreed to allow me to ship an additional 15' fence section, I will need to update my weight calculations. It now weighs 15,000 lbs.
Thank you again for agreeing to contact the shipping company. Say hello to Mongo for me. He and I have had many adventures. If you want to hear him chuckle, ask him "Where did all of this blood come from?" He'll know what that means.
Thank you, again.
The Honorable Hamilcar Barca Jones IV
Sunday, September 6, 2009
...'Neath The Starry Skies Above -
...Don "Fence" Meehan.
From: Baron Little [mailto:baronlittle@yahoo.com]
Sent: Monday, August 10, 2009 7:53 AM
To: eric@xxxxxxxxx.com
Subject: ORDER
On 8-10-09, Baron Little wrote:
Dear Owner / Manager
Am Baron and i will like to know if you carry Fencing Materials and Wires for sale,if yes i will like to know the types you have in stock now and the price on them,also i will need some information on the major credit cards you accept for payment.I will appreciate it if you can get me Chain Link Fence Fabric with the specs as follow.
Chain Link Fence Fabric
Wire diameter :16 SW
Mesh size : 6”
Width of chain link : 10 foots
I want you to get back to me with the price for this without delivery charges and we will proceed on with this order asap
Regards.
Baron Little
On 8-10-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hail Baron Little,
A courier just handed me your request for chain link fence pricing information and - for diplomatic reasons - I've decided to respond by email.
We do carry fencing materials and wire and yes, they are for sale. It is, in fact, the very reason we have them.
The following are the types we have in stock:
Wire Diameter: 16 SW, 4 NNW, 54-40 (or fight) NW, 1066 AD, 1776 BS, 38 Parallel
Mesh Size: 6", 12", 24", 48", 96", googol"
Width of chain link: 10 foots, 20 foots, 1 foots, 2 foots, red foots, blue foots
Pricing are per foots by weights and direction. Your request for 10 foots of 16 SW would be $420.00 plus shipping.
We accept all major credit cards if accompanied by a photo ID.
If you cannot supply us with your photo ID, we will require a major credit card.
Also, please supply the following:
Purchase Order Number: _______
Job Name:__________________
Address: ___________________
Country:____________________
Waist: _____________________
Inseam: ____________________
Cuffs or No Cuffs: ____________
Paper or Plastic: _____________
Don "Fence" Meehan
From: Baron Little [mailto:baronlittle@yahoo.com]
Sent: Monday, August 10, 2009 7:53 AM
To: eric@xxxxxxxxx.com
Subject: ORDER
On 8-10-09, Baron Little wrote:
Dear Owner / Manager
Am Baron and i will like to know if you carry Fencing Materials and Wires for sale,if yes i will like to know the types you have in stock now and the price on them,also i will need some information on the major credit cards you accept for payment.I will appreciate it if you can get me Chain Link Fence Fabric with the specs as follow.
Chain Link Fence Fabric
Wire diameter :16 SW
Mesh size : 6”
Width of chain link : 10 foots
I want you to get back to me with the price for this without delivery charges and we will proceed on with this order asap
Regards.
Baron Little
On 8-10-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hail Baron Little,
A courier just handed me your request for chain link fence pricing information and - for diplomatic reasons - I've decided to respond by email.
We do carry fencing materials and wire and yes, they are for sale. It is, in fact, the very reason we have them.
The following are the types we have in stock:
Wire Diameter: 16 SW, 4 NNW, 54-40 (or fight) NW, 1066 AD, 1776 BS, 38 Parallel
Mesh Size: 6", 12", 24", 48", 96", googol"
Width of chain link: 10 foots, 20 foots, 1 foots, 2 foots, red foots, blue foots
Pricing are per foots by weights and direction. Your request for 10 foots of 16 SW would be $420.00 plus shipping.
We accept all major credit cards if accompanied by a photo ID.
If you cannot supply us with your photo ID, we will require a major credit card.
Also, please supply the following:
Purchase Order Number: _______
Job Name:__________________
Address: ___________________
Country:____________________
Waist: _____________________
Inseam: ____________________
Cuffs or No Cuffs: ____________
Paper or Plastic: _____________
Don "Fence" Meehan
I Sell Hinges?
...well.... I guess I do!
From: Dallas Eastwood [mailto:eastwooddallas@yahoo.com]
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 7:10 AM
To: sales@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.com
Subject: Hinges
On 6-9-09, Dallas Eastwood wrote:
Hello,My name is Dallas Eastwood of Dallas and Son's Limited. I would like place an order for hinges. I need you to know the types you have, prices and type of payment you accept
Eastwood Dallas.
On 6-22-09, Vladdio wrote:
Your request has been forwarded to me.
How can I help you?
Clint Texas
On 6-22-09, Dallas Eastwood wrote:
Thanks for your mail. Do sell hinges, if do what are the sizes you have or do you have the size in stockPolished Brass Hinges76 x 50 x 2.5mm
On 6-22-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hello Dallas,
Do we have these in stock? Do we? .....I'll have to check.
I spend so much time polishing hinges, sometimes I forget the sizes.
But the one you asked about is so wildly popular that we're thinking about ordering 4 more, just to keep in stock.
You should request one of our catalogues. Go ahead. Request one. Go ahead.
Hinges - especially polished ones - are all we do. That's it - hinges. Nothing else. Just hinges. Yep. Just hinges and CDs of Ghana Love Songs.
The bad thing about being involved with CDs of Ghana Love Songs is that I hardly ever, ever get a chance to talk to anyone from Ghana. You wouldn't happen to be from Ghana, would you? Because if you were, I give very special pricing for both hinges and Ghana Love Songs CDs.
Clint Texas
From: Dallas Eastwood [mailto:eastwooddallas@yahoo.com]
Sent: Friday, June 19, 2009 7:10 AM
To: sales@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.com
Subject: Hinges
On 6-9-09, Dallas Eastwood wrote:
Hello,My name is Dallas Eastwood of Dallas and Son's Limited. I would like place an order for hinges. I need you to know the types you have, prices and type of payment you accept
Eastwood Dallas.
On 6-22-09, Vladdio wrote:
Your request has been forwarded to me.
How can I help you?
Clint Texas
On 6-22-09, Dallas Eastwood wrote:
Thanks for your mail. Do sell hinges, if do what are the sizes you have or do you have the size in stockPolished Brass Hinges76 x 50 x 2.5mm
On 6-22-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hello Dallas,
Do we have these in stock? Do we? .....I'll have to check.
I spend so much time polishing hinges, sometimes I forget the sizes.
But the one you asked about is so wildly popular that we're thinking about ordering 4 more, just to keep in stock.
You should request one of our catalogues. Go ahead. Request one. Go ahead.
Hinges - especially polished ones - are all we do. That's it - hinges. Nothing else. Just hinges. Yep. Just hinges and CDs of Ghana Love Songs.
The bad thing about being involved with CDs of Ghana Love Songs is that I hardly ever, ever get a chance to talk to anyone from Ghana. You wouldn't happen to be from Ghana, would you? Because if you were, I give very special pricing for both hinges and Ghana Love Songs CDs.
Clint Texas
Captain Marvel and the Latch Minister
...an adventure cut short. Stayed tuned!
From: david marvel [mailto:davidmarvel11@gmail.com]
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 11:30 PM
To: info@xxxxxxxxx.com
Subject: ORDER
On 6-17-09, David Marvel wrote:
Hello,
Am Rev David Marvel and i will like to order Latches from your company and can i know their prices in range and the method of payment you do accept,thank you and hope to hear from you soon.
On 6-18-09, Vladdio wrote:
Captain Marvel,
Your Order information was forwarded to me as I am the Latch Minister of the 3rd Order of the League of Spatial Conservators. Quite frankly, I am surprised you've been able to penetrate the Veil of Flotsam, and speak directly to me. No one gets to this level without a great deal of money changing hands. However since you have come this far, I must assume that you either have paid the required fees or that you are also a member of our league. I must also assume that you are from Ghana, since Ghana is the home of Poolus Fenci, of whom the many legends tell.
How can I help you? Please be specific.
Vitus Dancer
On 6-19-09, David Marvel wrote:
Kindly email me back with your website
On 6-19-09, Vladdio wrote:
Certainly. My website name is:
http://2009latchemperor42simonsays1909vdbcactusjuicecarbunkle5551212zippoppowyahoo42tiemedown.com
Please get the photo to me ASAP and I will send you the password and user ID.
Vitus Dancer
On 6-19-09, David Marvel wrote:
Your website is not opening
On 6-21-09, Vladdio wrote:
Captain Marvel,
My website is working perfectly. Just today I received 150,000 hits.
The problem may be in your own computer.
Allow me to suggest these strategies:
- hold down on the F13 key as you click on my site.
- if you don't have an F13 key (many of the older computers do not.) then hold down on the F6 and F7 together.
- place your keyboard into a large bucket of cold water.
- re-format your hard drive
Good luck.
Vitus Dancer
From: david marvel [mailto:davidmarvel11@gmail.com]
Sent: Wednesday, June 17, 2009 11:30 PM
To: info@xxxxxxxxx.com
Subject: ORDER
On 6-17-09, David Marvel wrote:
Hello,
Am Rev David Marvel and i will like to order Latches from your company and can i know their prices in range and the method of payment you do accept,thank you and hope to hear from you soon.
On 6-18-09, Vladdio wrote:
Captain Marvel,
Your Order information was forwarded to me as I am the Latch Minister of the 3rd Order of the League of Spatial Conservators. Quite frankly, I am surprised you've been able to penetrate the Veil of Flotsam, and speak directly to me. No one gets to this level without a great deal of money changing hands. However since you have come this far, I must assume that you either have paid the required fees or that you are also a member of our league. I must also assume that you are from Ghana, since Ghana is the home of Poolus Fenci, of whom the many legends tell.
How can I help you? Please be specific.
Vitus Dancer
On 6-19-09, David Marvel wrote:
Kindly email me back with your website
On 6-19-09, Vladdio wrote:
Certainly. My website name is:
http://2009latchemperor42simonsays1909vdbcactusjuicecarbunkle5551212zippoppowyahoo42tiemedown.com
Please get the photo to me ASAP and I will send you the password and user ID.
Vitus Dancer
On 6-19-09, David Marvel wrote:
Your website is not opening
On 6-21-09, Vladdio wrote:
Captain Marvel,
My website is working perfectly. Just today I received 150,000 hits.
The problem may be in your own computer.
Allow me to suggest these strategies:
- hold down on the F13 key as you click on my site.
- if you don't have an F13 key (many of the older computers do not.) then hold down on the F6 and F7 together.
- place your keyboard into a large bucket of cold water.
- re-format your hard drive
Good luck.
Vitus Dancer
British Thermal Units Needed in Ghana
...they go because they care.
From: manaf kamal [mailto:wilson_manaf_us@yahoo.com]
Sent: Friday, June 12, 2009 7:38 AM
To: sales@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.com
Subject: heater
On 6-12-09, Wilson Larry wrote:
Hello Sir/Madam
Am Mr..Wilson L arry And I would like to make an Enquiry of a pool Heater . I Would like you to get back to me With The Quote on the Natural Gas 400,000 BTU Plus Tax . Also advice If You Accept Credit Card As A form Of Payment So That I Can Arrange For The Payment Immediately. Looking to hear from you soon.....Thank You.
Larry....
On 6-13-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hi Wilson,
Right now I only have 250,000 BTUs but I'm getting more and more every day. If you'll take these, I can ship the remaining 150,000 BTUs as they come in.
The cost to you would be $0.69 per BTU. So that's $276,000 USD. I could ship the back-ordered BTUs to you at no additional cost. (Please note that we are not responsible for BTUs lost in shipping.) This would save you roughly $5,785.50 in shipping costs to anywhere in the world.
However if you happen to need these BTUs shipped to somewhere like... oh, I don't know... let's say Ghana for example, there would be no cost to you at all. In fact, because of a new arrangement with the Ghanan Department of Woobies, I would be required to actually pay YOU for shipping to you.
Regarding tax: I will accept whatever tax you think pertains to this material. Right now we're having a sale on pool heater tax. It's down from 97% to 93%. Do you think this falls under "pool heaters"?
The credit cards I accept are "Irv's Credit Card", "Lou's Credit Card", and "Mr.. Wilson L arry's Credit Card".
Please consider this email as THE QUOTE.
Tork Lichman, GED.
From: manaf kamal [mailto:wilson_manaf_us@yahoo.com]
Sent: Friday, June 12, 2009 7:38 AM
To: sales@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.com
Subject: heater
On 6-12-09, Wilson Larry wrote:
Hello Sir/Madam
Am Mr..Wilson L arry And I would like to make an Enquiry of a pool Heater . I Would like you to get back to me With The Quote on the Natural Gas 400,000 BTU Plus Tax . Also advice If You Accept Credit Card As A form Of Payment So That I Can Arrange For The Payment Immediately. Looking to hear from you soon.....Thank You.
Larry....
On 6-13-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hi Wilson,
Right now I only have 250,000 BTUs but I'm getting more and more every day. If you'll take these, I can ship the remaining 150,000 BTUs as they come in.
The cost to you would be $0.69 per BTU. So that's $276,000 USD. I could ship the back-ordered BTUs to you at no additional cost. (Please note that we are not responsible for BTUs lost in shipping.) This would save you roughly $5,785.50 in shipping costs to anywhere in the world.
However if you happen to need these BTUs shipped to somewhere like... oh, I don't know... let's say Ghana for example, there would be no cost to you at all. In fact, because of a new arrangement with the Ghanan Department of Woobies, I would be required to actually pay YOU for shipping to you.
Regarding tax: I will accept whatever tax you think pertains to this material. Right now we're having a sale on pool heater tax. It's down from 97% to 93%. Do you think this falls under "pool heaters"?
The credit cards I accept are "Irv's Credit Card", "Lou's Credit Card", and "Mr.. Wilson L arry's Credit Card".
Please consider this email as THE QUOTE.
Tork Lichman, GED.
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