...And I almost fell for it!
From: Muntari Yahaya [mailto:muntari4realy@yahoo.com]
Sent: Wednesday, October 07, 2009 8:31 AM
Subject: Orders
On 10-7-09, Larry Mike wrote:
Hello how are you doing my name is Larry mike pls i will like to know if you do have BITE INDICATORS for sell and i will like to know the cost of it plux the tax and get back to me hope to here from you very soon.
Rev.Larry Mike
On 10/7/09, Rhonda (A Vladdio Operative) wrote:
Good morning Larry:
Thank you for your interest in our products. I have not heard of a “bite indicator”. What is this used for?
Rhonda Xxxx
On 10-7-09, Larry Mike wrote:
Hello am very happy to here from you am going to ues it for pool
On 10-7-09, Vladdio wrote:
Dearest Reverend Mike,
Your emailed information regarding "Bite Indicators" was forwarded to our home office.
Bite Indicators are a rather sensitive issue in our culture and can cause great embarrassment especially to the women. In fact, they often become so flustered, they feign ignorance about them altogether.
I hope you understand. Our company sells more bite indicators than any one else in the world but we do no advertising for obvious reasons.
For all future correspondence please write "Porcupine Helmet" in the subject line.
As to costs, we have 4 different sizes: Small ($2.00), Medium ($2.50), Large ($3.00), and Humongo ($15.00).
Tax is 8%.
Thank you,
Krakatoa E. Java
On 10-7-09, Larry Mike wrote:
Hello am very happy to here from you i do undarstand i need you to give me the total cost of 40 pices of the Large ($3.00) plux the tax and dont worry about the shipping i will take care of the shipping and i will like to know what type of payment do you accpit hope to here from you very soon.
Rev.Larry Mike
On 10-13-09, Vladdio wrote:
Dear Reverend Mike,
40 pieces of the "Porcupine Helmets" at $3 each will cost you $120.
Add 8% tax, and the total comes to $1500.
Very often I accept credit cards, but since you are asking about other types of payment, I would be happy to accept poultry.
But let me know what is best for you.
Thank you.
Krakatoa E. Java
On 10-13-09, Larry Mike wrote:
Attention:
Thank you for your respond..I am okay with the price which is $$1500.I will like to make the full payment to you but firstly i will like you to contact my shipping company that will be coming along to pick up the orders.I am now in contact with my Banker's in regards of the full payment.
Here is the contact of the shipping company
Contact Name : Mr. Martin Osafo
Contact Email :2portshipping@gmail.com
Delivery address
Name: Mr. George Mark
Street Address : 23 Pentecost Church Ave.
State : Accra
Country : Ghana
Zip Code : 00233
I will like you to give them the weight of the orders and also ask them to tell you how much is going to cost for the pick from your location to that delivery address..After they give you the cost,then add the amount with the total of the order together so that i can go ahead and make the full payment to you.Any thing that you email the shipping company with let me know and also when you hear from them too let me know what ever they said.I will be looking forward to your respond.Stay blessed.
Rev.Larry Mike
On 10-24-09, Vladdio wrote:
Dear Mr. Martin Osafo,
Reverend Larry Mike asked that I contact you with information regarding his order of 40 Bite Indicators (He prefers to call them Porcupine Helmets).
The total weight of this order is 404 lbs. This includes the 400 lb. palate.
Please let me know the total cost for the pick up.
Thank you.
Krakatoa E. Java
On 10-24-09, Clark Hayford, the "shipper" wrote:
[mailto:2portshipping@gmail.com]
(This came to me in a very small font, so that's the way I'm presenting it. I increased the size of the font and boldfaced the price he wanted for shipping. You'll see why in my response.)
Dear Customer.Thank you for contacting 2 Ports Shipping Company Ltd, For all your shipping needs, For a Pick up such weight and dimension and as we check on our system the Freight cost FROM:Where usa TO:Mr George Mark, 23 Pentecost Church Avenue, Accra, Ghana, 00233. It would be $2,750. That includes international airway taxes (I.A.T), Tarries, custom's clearance duties with 3 to 4 working days. Also we will need a payment before the pick up can be entered into our system, and as soon as we receive the payment we would then provide you with the Shipping Invoice as well as Pick Up date and time. Also we accept payment via ( Western Union) payment has to be made by the Pickup address thus the address where the Unit will be picked up. So if you want us to start preparing for your paper work and have your information on your Data, Request for the payment Information so once its been done you can have your Invoice. 2 Ports Shipping Company Ltd would search for a nearest western union to your location so we can provide you all information for your payment as soon as that is done before we can go ahead with a Payment Invoice. Please don't hesitate to get back to us if you need any other inquiry. We will take care of you and your Shipping till it gets to the delivery destination. We look forward to serving you to your fullest satisfaction as well in near future.you can give us all inquiries via email since it will be convenient for our records. If you need anything don't hesitate to contact us because we will always be at your service and we will also handle the packaging and crating for shipment.
2 Ports Shipping Company Ltd.
General manager
Martin Osafo
UK - 0044-7031893905
World Wide - 00233-24227333
On 10-24-09, Vladdio wrote:
(I won't bother calling you "Dear") Martin Osafo,
Are you out of your goddamned mind!!! $2,750 to ship these 40 bite indicators!!! Not gonna happen.
Furthermore, I trust that my dear friend, the good Reverend Larry Mike, will be as upset as I am in your blatant attempt to gouge him for such a ridiculous amount of money. $2,750 Indeed!
I am not even the one paying for the shipping so I shouldn't even complain but it galls me to no end that fat-headed poop-eaters such as yourself would take advantage of good hardworking people like the good reverend. He's a goddamned reverend for Christ's sake!! Be quite assured, you disgusting little asshole, that I will be lodging a complaint with the Global Shipping Regulatory Agency AND the International House of Pancakes and I will be willing to avail of my time - free of charge - in whatever hearings they convene to put your sorry ass behind bars.
Yours truly,
Krakatoa E. Java
On 10-24-09, Larry Mike wrote:
Hello how are you doing am very happy to here from you that is okay i will like you to add with the cost of the tea that i order and the shipping company cost and give me the total cost of all so that i can make the full payment so that you can send the money to the shipping company so that they can came right way for the pick up i will be waiting to here from you very soon.
Rev,Larry mike
On 10-25-09, Clark Hayford (the "shipper") wrote:
Dear Customer.
Thank you for contacting 2 Ports Shipping Company Ltd, For all your shipping needs, For a Pick up such weight and dimension and as we check on our system the Freight cost FROM:Where usa TO:Mr George Mark, 23 Pentecost Church Avenue, Accra, Ghana, 00233. It would be $2,750. That includes international airway taxes (I.A.T), Tarries, custom's clearance duties with 3 to 4 working days. Also we will need a payment before the pick up can be entered into our system, and as soon as we receive the payment we would then provide you with the Shipping Invoice as well as Pick Up date and time. Also we accept payment via ( Western Union) payment has to be made by the Pickup address thus the address where the Unit will be picked up. So if you want us to start preparing for your paper work and have your information on your Data, Request for the payment Information so once its been done you can have your Invoice. 2 Ports Shipping Company Ltd would search for a nearest western union to your location so we can provide you all information for your payment as soon as that is done before we can go ahead with a Payment Invoice. Please don't hesitate to get back to us if you need any other inquiry. We will take care of you and your Shipping till it gets to the delivery destination. We look forward to serving you to your fullest satisfaction as well in near future.you can give us all inquiries via email since it will be convenient for our records. If you need anything don't hesitate to contact us because we will always be at your service and we will also handle the packaging and crating for shipment.
2 Ports Shipping Company Ltd.
General manager
Martin Osafo
UK - 0044-7031893905
World Wide - 00233-24227333
On 10-24-09, Vladdio wrote:
Dear Larry Mike,
Below are 2 responses from your shipper to me regarding your current order. If you look closely you will see that they are identical.
I believe your shipper is a moron or a thief or both.
He would not be the first moron shipper I've had to deal with. In our business, moron shippers are as common as dingo snot. However I think you might want to reconsider using him. Because even though - according to you - he is a great dancer, he is also a geek. And geeks are not very trustworthy. (I can cite many examples.)
Also, he is trying to overcharge you for the shipping. He expects you to pay $2750 to ship the 40 bite indicators, when the actual charge should be closer to $2720. If you do agree to pay his outrageous price, the total bill - including bite indicators ($1500) - would be $4250. And if you do decide to pay this total, I myself will put the bite indicators and tea (?) in my pocket and hand deliver them to you. I will only charge you $4220. This would cover my flight and rental car. I would expect you to pay for my food and acupuncture.
Let me know how you would like to proceed. I'm having my tailor alter my pockets so I can also fit my passport and some breath mints.
Krakatoa E. Java
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