...and nearly ruined by explosive diarrhea.
From: Rev.jim John [mailto:jjshop5@yahoo.com]
Sent: Monday, September 21, 2009 2:13 AM
Subject: Inquiry..
On 9-21-09, Rev. Jim John wrote:
Hello Owner,
My name is Rev Jim John and I'm inquiring about an order of some pool cover BLANKET 250 micron thick and i want to know if you can special order the pool covers of the sizes below
4.6 x 3.1m Rectangular Blankets
6.8 x 3.1m Rectangular Blankets
7.1 x 5.0m Rectangular Blankets
All in solar please can you get back to with the total cost for 10 pieces of those covers include tax and without freight? and if you don't have those types email me back with the types you do have ok, and also what types of credit card do you accept as payment?
I will be waiting to read from you shortly with the quote. Thank you very much.
Respectfully.
Rev Jim John .
On 9-22-09, Vladdio wrote:
Dear Mr. John,
Yes we can special order the pool cover sizes that you specified below.
Please indicate the quantity and colors required. We currently stock material in tan, beige, bronze, brown, chocolate, gray, grey, silver, vanilla, white, and strawberry.. Custom colors have a 5% premium added to it for orders under 5 pieces.
The first model is $85
The second is $128
The third is $164
These are all tax free.
We take all major credit cards.
Yours Truly,
Billy Reuben
On 9-23-09, Rev. Jim John wrote:
Hello Billy
thank you for getting back to me ...am OK with the third one which is $164 and i want you to get back to me with the total price on 20 quantities of them ...i will also like to inform you i will be picking them up at your location when it ready for pick up ...
Best Regards,
Rev Jim John .
On 9-23-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hi Jim,
Thank you for your interest in our solar rectangular pool blankets.
Based on the quantity you asked about, your total would be $3,280.00.
I'm pleased and proud to announce 3 new stock colors just added to our line. They are:
1 - "Bloon" - This is a combination of Blue and Green and gained popularity as a color used in balloons.
2 - "Enema-roon" - This is Brown-ish and Purple-ish. We have a feeling that this one is really going to move.
3 - "Maggot White" - Kind of an off-white.
Please let me know which colors you prefer. Also remember that we have tan, beige, bronze, brown, chocolate, gray, grey, silver, vanilla, white, and strawberry.
Custom colors have a 10 day lead time. (We recently completed an order for a customer who required the color "Scarlet Pain" - very pretty.)
Billy
On 9-23-09, Rev. Jim John wrote:
Hello Billy
thank you for getting back to me..am OK with the Maggot White" - Kind of an off-white and advise how long it will take for you to proceed after processing my c.card ..
Best Regards,
Rev Jim John .
On 9-24-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hello Reverend JJ,
After processing your credit card, the order will move into our 250,000 square foot hyper high tech pre-production manufacturing facility where the nylon plies will remain suspended in a dust free and sterile environment for 3 days.
Then it will move into production where each individual bubble of the solar blanket is filled one at a time with the previously collected breath of forest animals. We have found this to be the most pure and ecologically sound method of insulation. This step takes 2 days.
Finally the material is tested in post-production for strength, durability, and comfort. The procedure is a patented system in which janga balls are propelled toward the blankets from a distance of 25 meters. Then the material is raked over hot coals and razor wire. This step takes 1 day.
A final inspection completes the cycle and then packaging begins.
So overall you should have your order ready to ship in 6 days - about how long it took for GOD to create the world.
I think you made a wise choice in selecting "Maggot White". I was recently in Milan where I saw Heidi Klum and Fiona modeling Maggot White lingerie. It was spectacular.
Mr. Reuben
On 9-24-09, Rev. Jim John wrote:
Subject: Contact Them Asap .
Hello Reuben !
It would be nice speaking to you on the phone BUT i don't know your telephone # and once again i do appreciate your business .I just got a message from my church associate regarding a conference meeting in LONDON which i have to attend.Due to that i will not be able to schedule the pick up at my end so i need your help as you wish to help me out and i will order this merchandise again and i trust you .
I want you to do me a favor by contacting shipping company which i recommended and find out the cost for shipment.The merchandise will be shipped to my new orphanage house and as soon as u heard back from them with the cost for shipping i will make all the payment at once ,
Here is the shipping address below :
Rev Jim John ,
1methordist kids Orphanage
32 Trasaco Valley
City Accra
Country Ghana
Kindly go ahead and contact Cargo Express Shipping Co , with the pick up location and delivery address as well as the dimensions of the merchandise and find out the cost for shipment.It is a good broker and they ship worldwide . I have been using them for sometime because their service is very good and they always give a good satisfaction to their customers . After you schedule the pick up with the shipping company i want you to add the shipping charges on to the total of the merchandise and email me back with it before i can email you back with my Credit Card #'s for you to run the charges and then they can come in for the pick up on the date and time that you gave them .
Here is their email address copy and email them :
cargoexpress2@gmail.com
Kindly email them momentarily and get the cost for shipment .
Thanks for your Patience ,
Rev Jim John .
On 9-24-09, Vladdio wrote:
Dearest Rev,
I will contact the shipper pronto, but I wanted to ask you a favor as long as you'll be in LONDON.
I am a serious follower of Tangu, which is a combination of Icelandic martial arts and origami. There is a Tangu convention also in LONDON which, sadly, I will be missing. Could you stop in at the Four Seasons Hotel in Trafalgar Square and have your picture taken with Lord Bantu. He is the main speaker and host of the event. I told him via email that I would be attending and since he's never met me in person, he would never know that you were standing in my place. He will think that you are Billy Reuben.
In this way I could renew my subscription to Popular Tangu Magazine without having to pay the $30,000 yearly fee. (It's strange rules but I don't make them up.)
Thanks,
Billy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On 10-24-09, Vladdio wrote to the shipper:
Dearest Shipper Man,
The Reverend Jim John has commanded me to contact you regarding an order of critical importance with a question also of critical importance.
WHAT IS THE SHIPPING COST?
Kindly respond a quickly as possible. I have been delayed contacting you because of a spastic colon, irritable bowel, and crazy leg syndrome. So we are already late. I am trusting you to bail me out of an unfortunate circumstance. As compensation for the efforts, I will send you an autographed picture of myself. Who should I make it out to?
I remain yours truly always and forever,
Billy Reuben
On 10-24-09, Rev. Jim John wrote:
Billy ,
Thank you very much for this effort , and i wan you to go ahead and add the total of the order together with the shipping charges and email me back with it and then i can email or give a call back with my credit card for you to run the charges then as soon as my card clears your account and then you can proceed with the order as well as the shipping ...
Best Regards ,
Rev Jim John .
On 10-24-09, Vladdio wrote:
Dearest Reverend Jim John,
I'm still waiting for a response from the shipper man. He will need to tell me the costs of shipping. This may take a few days as I suspect he will spend much of the weekend talking to his family and friends about who I should address my autographed photo to.
If you have any influence over him, please try to hurry him along. I can use the money from your order. In fact I am desperate to get it. In addition to my other ailments, I've just been diagnosed with explosive diarrhea. My doctor says it could go off at any time. I'm spending much of my time in my bath tub and I've spread old newspapers about the floor and I've covered the walls with toilet paper. My doctor is a good man but he refuses to treat me without compensation. He himself has medical issues. He has to attend an important drinking conference in Tahiti. (He has trouble swallowing, so he's forced to travel around the world drinking as much as he can in order to find a cure. Poor man.)
By the way, how was your trip to London? Were you able to meet up with Lord Bantu?
Thank you and I await word from your shipper man.
Billy
On 10-24-09, Cargo Express wrote:
Dear Customer,
We would like to thank you for your kind interest towards our company for your shipping need's , you have send us an email regarding a quotation for an International shipping , In order to receive best price please send us below information and as soon as we receive this information's we will then send you quotation as soon as possible .
a ) Pick up Location .
b ) Dimensions of the merchandise .
c ) Total weight lbs of the merchandise .
d ) Shipping Location .
We need all the info from you before we can quote you for this shipment .
Contact details .
By Tel : 617-415-1065 .
E-mail Us : http://us.mc535.mail.yahoo.com/mc/compose?to=cargoexpress3@cooltoad.com .
THANK YOU
MANAGER
Mr.John Freeman .
On 10-24-09, Vladdio wrote:
My Good and Dear Friend Reverend Jim John,
I'm afraid I jumped the gun on my previous email. It turns out that your shipper man DID indeed respond to my request. (See Below.)
I am therefore addressing this email to both of you:
First - Hello My Man Rev Jim John and
Secondly - Hello Mr. John Freeman. (As an aside... to whom should I make out the autographed photo of myself? Don't be embarrassed to say that it will be for you.)
To answer your questions:
a) 5432 Juan Blastoff Way
Goddard, TX 77590
b) The material is very brittle and cannot be rolled up so the overall dimension of the crate will be 3' x 17' x 24' (Also please be aware that the contents of the crate dissolve in water so please keep it dry and out of the rain.)
c) This crate will weigh 5,550 lbs.
d) Rev Jim John ,1methordist kids Orphanage, 32 Trasaco Valley, City Accra, Country Ghana
Thank you both. You've been both kind and silly.
Senor Billy Reuben
On 10-24-09, Rev. Jim John wrote:
Billy ,
I never knew you are such a giddy foolish man thanks for your giddy foolish kindness .
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