...YUCK!
From: MARCUS BENT [mailto:marcus_bent47@yahoo.com]
Sent: Monday, June 01, 2009 6:49 PM
To: sales@xxxxxxxxxxxxx.com
Subject: ORDER
On 6-1-09, Marcus Bent wrote:
Hello my name is marcus bent and i will like to buy some pool fence.i will need the premium aluminum post with black mesh 4 feet tall 300 linear ft.so please try to email me with the price on that so that i can arrange for the payment.a prompt reply will be appreciated.
Best regards
marcus bent
On 6-1-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hi Marcus,
300' of the model of pool fence you describe would cost you $81,000.00 USD. You miss the price break at 330'.
Let me suggest that you buy 330'. The cost to you would only be $64,350.00 USD.
Also let me know if you require our hinged gate system... For this much fence you would need 22 gates. The price for them is $15,290.00 USD total. But if you were to buy only 2 more the total price of the gates would be $13,800.00 USD.
This would bring your total cost for the fence and gates to $78,150.00. But if you were to also buy 5 gallons of our coco-fence hand lotion (which normally sells for $3,145) you could get the full package for $81,175.00 USD.
We also give special pricing for golfers (.0125%), jugglers (.0115%), members of the clergy (.0195%), and saxophonists (.0155%).
You could reduce your total cost by 1.65% if you have a commercial drivers license and can bench press 350 lbs.
You can further reduce your costs by submitting proof of color blindness (.035%)
Please let me know how you'd like to proceed. Tomorrow is Tuesday and we normally raise our prices 2.4% on Tuesdays and Thursdays... If you can wait for Friday, we would throw in 120 lbs of onions or 260 lbs of popcorn.
Thank you.
The Honorable Hamilcar Barca Jones IV
On 6-2-09, Marcus Bent wrote:
hello thank you very much for your time,i can see that it will cost me a lots of money , so now i will buy the hinged gate system first ,i will need 22 gate ,and also will like to get back with the total cost of that to me hope to hear from you very soon
best regards
Marcus
On 6-2-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hi again Marcus,
Since you failed to take advantage of any of the discounts I offered, the following is, I believe, a fair outline of the materials and costs for this order:
300' - 48" black mesh fence $81,000.00
22 - Gates 15,290.00
Total 96,290.00
I will enter this as an order on Friday so as to allow you to avoid the 2.4% price increase.
I will assume you would prefer the popcorn over the onions. (Most people do.)
You are missing out on a good deal on the coco-fence hand lotion. This is the very same lotion they used on the Titanic.
You did not tell me where the material will be shipped... Therefore I would ask you provide information on a trustworthy shipping company.
The following is the system I use for payment.
You make payment to me in full on your credit card. You must also include the shipping costs. I will then send a certified check or an electronic funds transfer to the shipping company. The money that I send to the shipping company will come directly from my account and does not in any way put you at risk.
I believe this is a fair way of conducting business. I've been told that I take a large risk doing it this way, but I just have a good feeling about you. I trust you and I know you would not do anything to jeopardize a fair business arrangement. Besides, in the past when I have regretted this action I called on some of my west African "friends". These "friends" have never failed to correct any misunderstanding with any of my business contacts. My "friends" have quite an extensive collection of "trophies" memorializing their successes.
Thank you, again.
The Honorable Hamilcar Barca Jones IV
On 6-3-09, Marcus Bent wrote:
Hello ,thanks for your time ,But before i arrange for payment , i will like you to do me a favor and contact the freight company that i want to use @ (speed_airfreight47@rocketmail.com) with the weight of the 22 gate only so that they will give you the shipping cost ,and i will come and pick fence later ,of shipping them from your address to the following address:
Mr David Jones,
David & Co, Inc.
440 airport residential area,
Accra-Ghana00233.
I will like you to get back to me as soon as they e-mail you with the shipping cost so that i will arrange for payment immediately.And talking of payment , i can only email you with my credit card details so that you run for both payment.hope to hear from you real soon.....
best regards.............
Marcus.....................
On 6-3-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hi Marcus,
I've dealt with David & Co. Inc. in the past and am sorry to say that my experiences with them have been bad. In spite of the fact that I was impressed with David Jones for being one of the founders of "The Monkees", I've found that his behavior in the shipping industry is deplorable at best.
My association with him had been many years ago so I thought it only fair to research his current activities. The following is a summary of a report I just received from one of my operatives in Ghana.
- Mr. Jones continues to pee over the toilet seat for no explainable reason.
- He always refers to himself in the third person.
- He continuously splits infinitives, misplaces modifiers, and dangles participles.
- He ends sentences with prepositions as though no one notices.
- His warehouse has a pervasive smell of Honey Nut Cheerios.
- Everyone on his staff is named George.
- He does not floss.
All of this, to say nothing of seeing his name linked to lawn darts, potato guns, and flaming frisbees in the international press.
I'm sorry, Marcus. I won't deal with the man - if, in fact, he is a man. (And I so liked his tambourine skills on "The Last Train to Clarksville").
Please submit another shipping company to me for approval.
Regarding the weight of the gates. Each gate weighs 76 lbs. Multiply this by 22 and you have 14,000 lbs.
Thank you, again.
The Honorable Hamilcar Barca Jones IV
On 6-3-09, Marcus Bent wrote:
Hello , am sorry but where i am now i cannot take care of the shipping, thats why i want to handle that on my behalf ..In if there are any additional charges, you can bill my credit card for that.....
On 6-4-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hi Marcus,
Tomorrow is Friday and it's important that this matter is addressed immediately.
I've found some other shipping companies which may be of service. One of them in particular seems well suited for the job. They are out of Somalia and seem to have much experience handling the types of stressful situations that come in dealing with other people's freight. I believe this situation may also be stressful.
You asked about additional charges and I am agreeable to that. I appreciate the offer and will find additional charges that will increase the overall costs greatly. Thank you. Many credit cards have certain limits. I would suggest that, if possible, you raise your limit to $200,000 USD. I will work on adding to the costs, but I will keep the total below $200,000. However, I'll need to know what the shipping cost will be.
Do you think large amounts of perishable products such as lemon pie would be acceptable? Of course, the fence and gates need to be refrigerated anyway so adding pies to the shipment should not incur extra costs in that regard. If you do not want pie, please consider éclairs or some other type of pastries. I think cake is out of the question, and likewise cookies. But I will keep open-minded about whatever you decide.
Also - and we hadn't talked about this yet - if the fence will be meant as a gift, we can have all of it gift-wrapped for almost any occasion, except for birthdays. These are not my rules. If it were up to me I would include birthdays, but the Somalis are sensitive about this. I don't know why.
Thank you, again.
The Honorable Hamilcar Barca Jones IV
On 6-4-09, Marcus Bent wrote:
please read my email well ,i said that i will need the 22 gates first ,and i will like you to do me favor to contact the freight company with the weight of that 22 gates so that they will give you the shipping cost of that , for get about the fence now , i will talk about it after i finish with the gate matter , and also will like to know that i can not use any difrient shipping company, because the shipping company that i request i use them about 5 year that and i never got problem with them thats why i want to use them for my packages , and i relly like thier service , so please try and contact them with the weight of that 22 gates so that they will give you the shipping cost of that, then you get back to me,as soon as you get back to i will arrange for the payment imidiately hope to hear from you very soon
best regards
Marcus...........
On 6-5-09, Vladdio wrote:
Hi Marcus,
I understand that you'd like to separate the gates from the fence. I think this is a bad idea. At the fence farm where the material was raised, the gates and the fence were always together. If I were to separate them at this point, it might appear cruel. International Fence/Gate agencies and watch-dog groups might consider it to be just another example of American insensitivity. Perhaps you'd agree to include just one section of fence to accompany the gates. This would make the trip much less stressful. I would be willing to include that section of fence free. It would just cost you $7,500. I think this is fair.
As I said in my previous email, I will not use David & Co. Inc. to handle the shipping. I just recently found out that David uses ketchup on burritos, even when salsa is right there - on the table! I cannot abide the man. And I'm uneasy that you have gone snorkeling with him. (Yes, my operatives are very thorough in their clandestine observations.)
There is another company that I use when shipping to Ghana, if you refuse to allow me to use the Somalis. They are "Speed Airfreight 47" and their email address is speed_airfreight47@rocketmail.com . Do not be alarmed that they use rocketmail as their email provider. They are a legitimate company. I can vouch for them. And as you know, I am completely honest, fair, and graxian.
The 22 gates weigh 14,000 lbs. as I said in one of my previous email. But now that you've agreed to allow me to ship an additional 15' fence section, I will need to update my weight calculations. It now weighs 15,000 lbs.
Thank you again for agreeing to contact the shipping company. Say hello to Mongo for me. He and I have had many adventures. If you want to hear him chuckle, ask him "Where did all of this blood come from?" He'll know what that means.
Thank you, again.
The Honorable Hamilcar Barca Jones IV
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